The Lost Boy's Lost Love
by Raede
Summary: Ranma's out to sabotage Ryoga and Akane's budding romance, but the tables are turned when Ryoga starts warming up to Ranma's fictional fiance. Will he still want Akane, or has Ryoga truly found the love he's been missing? WIP.
1. Chapter 1: Girl and her Pig

*****Disclaimer:** **I do not own Ranma 1/2, and this story is purely a bit of fictitious fun.*****

**AN 4/5/2011:** ahoy there, folks. This is an ongoing fic I've been working based on the episode _Ryoga & Akane 2-gether 4-ever. _If you haven't seen that episode, I suggest that you do, as it is quite gigglesome. Also, this fic contains major spoilers; some actual dialogue from the show will be used as I progress through the set-up. This first chapter is more of a prequel to the events that will unfold more than anything else; it's set the night before Ukyo delivers Ryoga's love message to Akane. I wanted a chance to try out the character interactions before I really got moving.

I'm going to challenge myself to update this regularly. This will probably end up being a very long fic containing some pretty filthy adult content down the road. If you liek mah work and would like to see more, I post all my fanstuff to my livejournal ( screen-name: raede ); friend me and I shall friend ye back.

_Major couples include:_ heavy Ryoga/Akane, good amount of Ranma/Akane, heav Ranma/Ryoga (the central couple); and there'll probably some Mousse in there somewhere later, too. Mmm, *Mousse*.

Oh, and one last warning: though I don't know that I'd call this a "dark" fic, it certainly but it gets pretty darn angsty at times, and I'm not sure there'll be a happy ending. There's betrayal, blackmail, perversion, manipulation - all that good stuff. So if you came for smiles and fluff, turn away, because while there are some rather sweet scenes, my romance overall tends to be kind of warped.

Anyhow - let's get this rollin'.

**Chapter 1: Girl and her Pig**

_"RANMA!"_

The infuriated scream reverberated throughout the whole of the Tendo residence.

"What?" The young Saotome responded in a tone that was more than just a little too patronizing for Akane's taste. "What's the problem?"

Pale fists thrashed through the air at a furious pace, but each newly thrown punch missed its target as completely as the last.

"Hold STILL!" Akane demanded as she took another lunge forward. But that boy was just too fast - she failed to connect a hit yet again. She turned; he was making circles around her. Literally. How childish was that? Akane growled and went for him full fury for another time.

_"Hn...! Ha!"_ Ranma ducked and fled each of her attempts with ease, his arms kept crossed in an absurdly casual manner. "Now why would I do that?"

"Wh-Why won't you fight back!" Akane panted. "Come on, I'm not playing around! You said you'd help me get better. So HOW am I ever gonna better if YOU won't even take me seriously? HUH!"

She threw another fist straight at his nose, no holding back, no mercy. She didn't care if she broke his whole stupid face.

The heir of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts arched back with an easy sort of grace, making Akane's passion fueled punch just another close miss. Akane let out a shriek of raw frustration.

Ranma straightened up and smiled back at her with that smug look of his. Akane had stopped. She was just standing there, fuming. "Ain't my fault you're so slow. How we gonna fight when you can't even hit me? Come on, what else ya got?"

Nails bit into Akane's palms, her fists clenched so tight. "You know what...!" She growled in such a manner that made Ranma prepare himself to avoid yet another attack, but to his surprise, Akane's stiff shoulders fell slack a moment later.

"Forget it," she said, voice gone flat. "Just forget it."

She turned and left the dojo at a near-run, not wanting that pony-tail wearing jerk to see the glaze of tears over her eyes. Why did he have to be like that all the time? Always going out of his way just to make her miserable. If he didn't want to help her with her training, then he should've just said so in the first place. What a colossal waste of time.

"Ahhh, Akane, c'mon..." She heard Ranma call out after her in that ohh-you're-overreacting-again sort of way. Then he started to laugh. That was to be his final mistake. "Come on, come back, I was just messin' around! Get a sense of humor one of these days, will ya? We can't all be -"

"I said forget it!" Akane shouted back. She sped up, hearing Ranma's following behind her. She tore through up the stairs and down the hall to her room, breathing a sigh of relief when she finally gave the door a good shutting slam. The rest of the Tendo household didn't so much as blink in her direction. They were well use to young Akane's tantrums, which had become increasingly frequent since the Saotomes moved in.

"Akane..." Ranma's voice sounded from the other side of her door. "Look, I didn't mean to - just quit bein' a drama-queen already, alright?"

Akane collapsed onto her bed, tears falling free in the privacy of her own room. "Go away," she demanded in as steady a voice as she could manage. She set her face to her pillow and let the fabric muffle her quiet sobs.

She knew Ranma was a better martial artist than she was. He didn't need to remind her of it every chance he got. Excuse her for having led a normal life here in Japan while his father was out throwing him in cursed springs or whatever-the-heck. There did happen to be a time when she, Akane Tendo, was the all-star athlete around Nerima.

Yeah, but all that changed when Ranma came along. These days she was being made into the damsel in distress around every corner, and she was sick and tired of it.

"Fine," Ranma's voice retreated. Akane's face remained planted firmly in her pillow. She should've known he'd be too much of an arrogant ass to train with her 'for real'.

Her room was dark; the sun had gone down hardly an hour ago, and the light from her bedside window lit the room just enough to make out shapes. Akane hadn't noticed the little black form curled up on the bed beside her.

P-chan nudged her shoulder, letting out a soft snort that sounded almost like a concerned whimper.

Akane turned her head and blinked through the darkness. A small smile appeared on her lips. "Oh, P-chan..." she cooed and scooped the piglet up in her palm. She turned on her side and cradled him to her chest.

"I'm glad you're not a jerk to me..." she muttered, giving the piglet's ear an affectionate scratch.

Akane set a light kiss to P-chan's head and put him onto her blanket. She rose out of bed and wiped the stain of tears away on the sleeve of her uniform. The little piglet turned its back to the wall as she made her way to the dresser.

Akane yanked at the cloth belt around her waste and let her uniform fall open. When she turned to look back at P-chan, she couldn't help but smile as she noticed how the animal turned away, as if to give her privacy.

"You silly pig..." She laughed. He did the most adorable things sometimes, things she'd never seen other little piglets do. He made a great pet. Now if she could just do something about the wandering off all the time, she might not feel so alone in this house.

Her loose pants fell free with the tilt of her hip. She shook them from her ankles and kicked them away as she picked a plain t-shirt and cotton pants from the dresser. It was well into the evening now; she didn't need to look 'pretty' anymore. As if she cared. This was designated PJ time.

Once redressed, she paused to take in a deep breath. After several seconds, she sighed. "I'm not even gonna look at him..." she mumbled to herself. "...If he even tries to talk to me... hmph..."

P-chan turned his head curiously. He made a few more whimpering snorts.

"I bet you're hungry, huh, P?" Akane wondered aloud. "Stay here, baby, I'll get you some food..."

P-chan hopped off the bed and scrambled to her feet as Akane stepped toward the doorway.

"No, P!" Akane scolded the animal and put her foot between him and the door as her hand went for the knob. "Stay. Back! Back up, P-chan."

P-chan backed away from the door, head low to the ground. He did that when he was sorry about something. Or when he wanted to make her think he was. As soon as Akane opened the door just enough to slip out, P-chan dashed between her legs and sped off down the hall.

"P-CHAN!" she shouted as the little pig bounced down the stairs. "Nobody open any doors...! And close the windows, too!"

Akane headed toward the kitchen. She'd lost sight of him as he escaped downstairs, but clearly, P-chan was a smart pig. If it was food he was after, he knew where to go.

"Oh, but it's such a nice night out," Kasumi said as Akane moved to slide one of the kitchen windows shut. "And the oven's hot. It's letting a nice breeze in."

"P-chan's out again," she explained. "I don't want him escaping. Again." Her eyes fell and glanced about the tiled floor.

To her gross displeasure, Ranma came into her peripheral view, ducking into the fridge for a soda and chuckling as she looked frantically for her 'precious P'. He just had to tease her about every little thing. An irritated frown plastered itself across Akane's face. Like she'd promised herself, she refused to even look at him.

"He still here...?" Ranma shook his head. He snapped the lid of his beverage with a loud pop.

"Well, you can't expect to keep him couped up in your room all the time, Akane," Kasumi reasoned. "Maybe you can set him a pin up in the yard."

"Ohh, yeah!" Ranma piped enthusiastically. He laughed. "He'd love that... Wouldn't you P-chan!" he called out through the house.

Akane's eyes shot to Ranma for the first time. Reluctantly, she had to ask. "Did you see where he went?" Her tone was - well, she was still clearly agitated, that was for sure.

"Eh, don't worry. Even if he gets out, he always come back, right? ...Unfortunately."

"Why do you always hafta-" Akane stopped, glancing to Kasumi. She let the thought drop and just scowled down at her feet. "Just don't let him get out again if you see him, okay?"

"Yeah... you got it." Ranma shrugged. He didn't sound particularly sincere. He never did.

Akane pushed by Ranma and out of the kitchen, eyes gluing themselves to the floor. Ranma made a face as her shoulder bumped carelessly into his. He snorted.

"Man, I hate living with chicks," he muttered to himself when she was safely out of earshot. "...so moody..." Kasumi didn't pay him any mind.

Ranma set his drink down and set off toward the bathroom. He caught a glimpse of Akane as he passed the family area. She was plopped on the couch with her father and Nabiki in front of the TV. She didn't even glance over at him. Seemed she'd taken to ignoring his very presence for the night.

Well, whatever. She'd cool off by morning.

"...Well, well, well," Ranma laughed as he reached the bathroom doorway. One little black piglet in a familiar spotted bandanna was perched atop the toilet, preparing for a daring jump from its shelf to the sink. "What's up, Ryoga, buddy? Havin' issues?"

P-chan turned his head to the boy with all-too expressive glare. Redirecting its attention to the sink, the little animal shuffled back before making its attempt to cross. The piglet squealed as its face smacked flat against the sink's edge. P-chan fell with an audible thud to the floor. Ranma's voice cracked into laughter.

"Oh-ho! Hahaha! Geez! You want some help, there, 'P'...?"

P-chan met Ranma's eyes with a loud, urgent squeal.

"Yeah, yeah." Ranma turned to slide the bathroom door shut. He made his way over to the sink an gave the hot water knob a twist.

The piglet stood on its hind legs and whined, ears perking at the stream of water. Ranma set his hand in the stream. In a matter of seconds, his black locks became lighter, redder; his height dropped and his chest bulged.

"Hold on, stupid, it's gotta get hot first." Ranma's voice chimed light and feminine. She bent down to grab P-chan up by his ribboned bandanna. "Where the heck are your clothes at, anyway...?"

Ranma shook her head at P-chan as he squirmed. She kept her hand beneath the faucet for several more moments, until the water grew warm enough that her own shape changed again. At last, Ranma set P-chan in the sink and turned away.

"I guess you can borrow some of mine," he offered. "Just so you don't freak the whole house out. You're lucky I'm so hospitable and stuff."

"Ranma..." Ryoga growled, his human form now reclined quite comically in the sink bowl. "Do you know that you reduced poor Akane to tears!"

"Is it my fault if that girl has no sense of humor?" Ranma scrunched his nose. It seemed like he was always making Akane cry; both her and this goon ought to be used to it by now. He was. He'd apologize later and she'd be alright again. Until she decided to get mad about some other stupid thing that only a moody chick like her would get mad about.

"...She just wants to be mad about something..." he reasoned. "Besides, you wanna start yappin', I'll just leave you here in the buff for Akane to find. You're a guest in this house, bud - so act like it."

Ryoga glared at him from the sink, hands staying cupped over his privates. Gee, he was shy. "...You better be careful, Ranma..."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. The way you treat Akane, someone could come along and take her away from you real fast some day." _That's right, _Ryoga thought to himself. _Maybe even sooner than you think._

Ranma laughed his way to the bathroom door. "Someone like you, Ryoga?" This was rich. Little piggy and his crush never got old.

Well, actually, it did start to get a little old after a while.

"Just someone more _mature_, is all," said Ryoga.

"Yeah, okay. Whatever, weirdo. Stay here." Ranma stepped out of the bathroom, leaving Ryoga alone. The naked boy slid off the sink and set an ear to the door. For several minutes, things were quiet. Then he could hear Ranma's footsteps returning from his room, and Akane speaking near the door.

"Is there someone in there?" her voice asked.

"Umm," Ranma's answered, sounding perfectly moronic.

Ryoga's blood went cold. His heart pounded in his ears. He was panicking. What if she caught him in here? This was so obvious. He started looking for an escape route. He had the sink; he could possibly change back again. But then who knew how long it'd be before someone else came along and spared a little piglet a cup of hot water?

"Yeah, uh. Ryoga came over for a shower. You know how filthy he is all the time," Ranma's voice answered her at last. "Like a little piggy..."

Ryoga twitched in anger, but he whispered a word of thanks to himself despite it.

"Thank you, Ranma. Thank you." Every time Ranma lied to her for him like this, he was doing so to keep his promise, and Ryoga was forever grateful to that miserable jackass if but for that fact alone.

"Oh," Akane responded in a surprisingly lighthearted manner. "Why didn't you tell me Ryoga was visiting? Hi, Ryoga! Sorry Ranma's such a jerk and didn't tell me you were here," she jibed.

"H-hi Akane," Ryoga stuttered. "That's... alright..."

"Ah-huh," Ranma mouthed, unamused. "Just open up and take these for now, pigboy."

Ryoga slid the door open just enough to slip the clothes through. Through the gap, he locked eyes with Ranma. "Don't call me that," he warned, his tone sharp and serious. The door slid shut. Ranma smirked.

By the time he dressed and emerged from the bathroom, Akane seemed to have gone elsewhere, but Ranma was waiting by the door.

"So you gonna hit the road again, or what?" he asked. "Not that I'm not totally thrilled with you sleeping over in Akane's room every night, you sick fuck." He wasn't making much effort to keep his voice low.

"It isn't anything like you wanna make it sound, so screw you," Ryoga growled in defense. "But if you must know, no." Ranma quirked a curious, if not irritated brow, causing a smile form on Ryoga's lips. He nodded. "I thought I'd stick around for a while."

"Ryoga, that's great!" Akane interjected. Ryoga nearly jumped out of his skin. How long had she been listening?

"Wh-what?" Ryoga could hardly manage his stupefied response. Ranma snickered at the spectacle.

"That you're not going away again, I mean," Akane explained, sparing a glance at the amused Saotome. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you. So this means you can stay for a while, right?" She beamed at him with a warm smile. That look made both the boys stomachs churn, albeit for different reasons. "I set another place for you at the table."

"You know, if you keep feeding him, Akane, he's never gonna go away," Ranma mock-lectured. He made a point of pretending not to notice Ryoga glaring over in his general direction.

"Ranma," Akane addressed him coldly. "Stop it."

"No, that's okay, Akane. After all," Ryoga found words at last. He looked at Ranma and raised his nose. "He's not very mature, is he?"

Ryoga laughed. Akane laughed, too. Ranma's head went rolling; he couldn't form a thought. "What's that suppose to mean!" he blurted out in a loud voice, not knowing what else to do as Akane took Ryoga by the arm and pulled him off to the dining area. "I'm plenty more mature than - ugh!"

"Here," Akane sat down on the floor and looked up at Ryoga with a welcoming smile. She gestured to the plate beside her. "Make yourself at home."

Oh, he's more at home already than you may think, Akane, Ranma thought. His eyes marked his resentment, but he kept his mouth shut.

"...Thanks..." Ryoga sat down beside her.

"I hope P-chan comes out," Akane mused. "You've gotta meet him, Ryoga, he's the cutest little pig you ever saw! I just don't know where he's hiding right now..."

Ryoga laughed nervously. Time for a change of subject. "Y-yeah, well. Ah, Akane, I, uh," he babbled on, struggling for a thought as Akane stared back at him, wide-eyed and expectant. He breathed in relief when Ranma interrupted and drew both their attentions.

"So, Ryoga..." Ranma had seated himself across from them. "Where ya gonna be stayin', huh? That's what I'd really like to know." The stare he put on made Ryoga look away.

"I... don't know yet," Ryoga admitted. It was half-truthful. He knew P-chan was welcome in the Tendo house whenever he so pleased, but he also knew it was wrong to take advantage of Akane and her family's trust. "I'll find some place."

"You're welcome to stay here," Akane announced, and once again Ranma and Ryoga shared one reaction: pure incredulousness.

"Who says?" Ranma demanded to know.

"I say! He could have my room, and I'll sleep with Nabiki or Kasumi. It wouldn't be any trouble at all!"

"Nu-uh, no way," Ranma's disapproval fell on deaf ears. He wasn't sure why the thought of having human Ryoga sleeping in Akane's room by himself bothered him any more or less than P-chan sleeping in bed with Akane - the fact that he could move around, maybe. Mess with stuff. You know. Unmentionables. He seemed like that kind of guy.

"N-no, that's not necessary," Ryoga spoke up. "Like I said, I'll find some place. I'm pretty resourceful when I wanna be."

Akane's eyes softened, that warm smile returning. "I bet you are. It's amazing how you manage out there all by yourself. I worry about you sometimes."

Ryoga blushed such a deep red, it made Ranma want to punch him right in teeth. What the hell was he grinning at?

"You do?" Ryoga just had to clarify.

"Well, yeah! I mean, always disappearing like you do!" Akane said.

"Oh, heh, yeah. I get a little lost sometimes..." What a shy, sorry excuse.

Akane's warm smile was lost completely to expressionlessness as her eyes drifted over to Ranma. That solid staredown rendered his tongue useless. She was just daring him to say something stupid.

He kept right on keeping his thoughts to himself.

"Alright, you guys," Kasumi's voice rang from the kitchen. Nabiki, Mr. Tendo and Mr. Saotome came along soon enough, all bearing light hearted enough greetings for Ryoga. He may have been one of several people out on a mission to kill Ranma, but it was weird - he was so well mannered, nobody really had a problem with him. Even Ranma thought he was an alright guy most of the time. A weirdo pervert, but an alright guy. After all, in all seriousness, he'd cook that little pig in a stew himself long before he let him sleep in Akane's bed if he thought Ryoga was any real threat.

Nah. He was just a nuisance.

Ryoga had about the same table manners Ranma did, but Akane didn't seem to mind. She'd made Mr. Tendo move Ranma across the table for eating like that, but she just giggled - giggled! - while Ryoga chowed down like a... well, you know.

"I'm glad you like it," Kasumi commented on his eagerness. Of course he liked it, everyone liked Kasumi's cooking, and that swine probably hadn't eaten in days. As if he could find his way to the grocery store. "I would've made more if I knew you were coming. I didn't even notice you come in!"

"Oh, I, uh, sorry." Ryoga babbled. "This is really good. Thank you all for having me..."

"No problem at all, Ryoga!"

"Hey, don't mention it. Yer a good kid."

"Yeah, we're glad to have you."

Listen to that! All that praise for nothing. Hell, Ranma had pulled most of these goons out of trouble at some point or another, and they didn't even treat him this good. He huffed a breath. "Choir boy," he muttered and excused himself. Akane made a rude face behind his back, but he didn't see. Nabiki and Mr. Saotome had a laugh. Ryoga was in his own little world.

Ranma went to relax upstairs and before long, was out cold and fast.


	2. Chapter 2: The First Date

*****Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2 and this story is purely a bit of fictitious fun.*****

**AN: **Contains some actual dialogue from the episode Ryoga & Akane 2-gether 4-ever; so, spoiler alert, incidentally.

**Chapter 2: The First Date**

Pigboy must've stayed to eat his fill that night, because he was still there the next morning when Ranma finally awoke. The two crossed paths on their trip to the bathroom, and Ranma's eyes turned down at the little piglet with a glare, clearly unimpressed.

"Pretty resourceful, aren't you?" he mocked. P-chan stared him down.

Ranma stared back. It occured to him then how utterly ridiculous he must look standing there, having a staring contest with a pig. He grimaced.

"...Whatever," he said. He was over it. He gave the shirt he'd planned on wearing a snap at the pig. P-chan recognized the attack and took a lunge at his feet.

"Hey!" Ranma stumbled.

And thus, it was on.

_"What's this...?"_ Ranma could hear Akane ask from the kitchen. He didn't know or care what she was talking about. He was a little busy.

_"...found it on the step this morning..."_

"Come HERE you little RUNT!" Ranma shouted.

P-chan swerved into the kitchen. He tried to leap into the protection of Akane's loving arms, but he encountered a problem: she was already holding something. The piglet hopped away and Ranma wasted no time shoving Akane out of his path. He knew he stepped on something after that, but he wasn't sure what it was. Something squishy; made him wish he'd been wearing socks.

"HEY!" Akane shouted at them. "Ranma! What is the MATTER with you two!"

"I wish they wouldn't play with other people's food..."

"Huh? Is that what this is?" Akane bent down. The package she'd dropped was indeed some sort of food dish. A plate of okinomiyaki, to be exact. Whoever could that be from?

There was a message written across it in sauce, but it was now hardly legible. Akane's face contorted as she read it. "Ohh, for -" Her voice fell. "A challenge letter."

Of course it was a challenge letter. 'Akane Tendo,' it read, 'I'll be waiting for you at Uk-Chan's Okinomiyaki today at 2'. Ranma's foot had made a pretty sizable imprint along the side of the dish, but luckily, it didn't seem to have completely cut out any of the message.

So - Ukyo wanted a piece of her, did she? She should've known it'd only be a matter of time. Fine then. Akane Tendo wasn't about to back out of a fight. First Kodachi, then Shampoo - she could handle another crazy coming her way.

She scooped up the box and threw it in the trash, growing angrier by the second. She embraced that anger; anger was good. Anger produced the adrenaline that was going to carry her to victory. No one was going to come and rescue her this time. She didn't need Ranma, or anybody else. This was all on her.

:::[later that day]:::

"You did what?" Ranma couldn't believe it.

"Yup." Ukyo was nothing but chipper about it.

"You're kidding," said Ranma. She had to be.

"Nope." Okay, maybe she wasn't kidding, but it didn't matter; Akane would never go for it.

"Akane's never gonna go for that!" Ranma was sure of it. Almost as sure of it as Ryoga had been. "You don't know her like I know her. She hates boys, and she hates dates. You know what she's probably thinking right now?"

Ukyo had become distracted, thinking on the preparations she still needed to make, and had long stopped listening, but Ranma's belief that Akane wouldn't show was starting to worry her. What if she didn't? Ranma lived with her; he probably knew the girl a lot better than she did. Ukyo frowned. Hopefully everything would work out.

"...Hello?" Ranma waved a hand in front of her face. "I said, do you know what she's probably thinking right now? Hey are you even listening?"

"Um." Ukyo shrugged. "Sorry, I need to get going. It's almost showtime!"

"Showtime?" Ranma spat, but it was too late. Ukyo slid down off the thick tree branch they were sharing and ran off to town, leaving the pig-tailed martial artist by himself. He let out a snort. It was just like he said: there was no way Akane was going to go along with this. He'd probably go home to find her all moody and completely offended that Ryoga had even considered asking her on something ridiculous a date. Yeah, she was just that kind of girl, you know? Always looking for something to be mad about.

Not long at all after Ukyo had disappeared from sight, Ranma leapt out of the tree and wasted no time getting back to the Tendo home. He arrived there in minutes; he was panting heavily by the time he reached the door. He took deep breaths to compose himself before he went inside.

The place was quiet. ...Too quiet.

"Kasumi?" Ranma peeked into the kitchen. As always, the young homemaker was there.

"Yes?"

"Have you seen Akane?"

"Oh, yes - she left this afternoon. She seemed very excited about something."

"...Excited?" Something caught in Ranma's throat. He had to swallow. He blinked stupidly at Kasumi's polite smile. "Where'd she go?"

Kasumi's eyes rolled up in thought. "Hmm. Oh, yes," she said at last. "She also asked me to ask you to leave her alone, let her handle it, and stay the heck out of her business."

"Oh." Suddenly, Ranma's heart was beating painfully fast. Hard, too. Almost like it was smacking against his rib cage. Stay the heck out of her business? So that's how she wanted it. She actually went! Akane Tendo agreed to go on a date. With Ryoga, of all people! And she was excited about it, too. What's to get excited about?

Ranma backed out of the kitchen and wandered upstairs. His mind raced with thoughts, most of them rather nasty.

"...Leave her alone, she says," he muttered. "Don't interfere, huh? Huh. Yeah!" he scoffed. He wasn't about to let that little pig get away with this. What was he planning? Get her alone, fill her head with this and that, then what? He wasn't going to wait around and find out. That little wimp couldn't just go behind his back like this. "...Must feel so damn smug right now..."

Sure, it wasn't like Akane was his girl or anything. Not really, even if that's the way everyone looked at it. But it was the principle of the thing: assuming that anyone besides Ranma was going to have her, it sure as hell wasn't going to be that perverted weirdo, so long as Ranma had any say in the matter. And despite what Akane may want to believe, Ranma Saotome always had a say in matters.

Ranma paused to take a quick look around, then veered off toward Nabiki's room. One of his brilliant schemes was quickly forming, and he was going to need a disguise. A female disguise. And Nabiki likely had a few pretty little numbers that she wouldn't miss for the day.

Nabiki's door was shut. Ranma hurried to it and knocked urgently. There was the sound of movement and shuffling, and then the door opened.

"Ranma, darling," Nabiki said when she saw him. Her easy greeting suddenly turned sharp. "What do _you _want?"

"I need your help," he said. He would have let himself in after that, had Nabiki not moved to completely block his path. He put on a pleading face and begged. "Come on - I just need to borrow some of your clothes. Just for a while. Please?"

Nabiki scoffed. "Some of my clothes? Whatever for?"

Ranma peeked over his shoulder to make sure no one else was within earshot. He leaned in close. "Let me in, and I'll explain everything," he said, being sure to whisper the words and make the matter sound mysterious and important, as to pique the devious Tendo girl's interest. Nabiki peered at him searchingly, contemplating this for a time; eventually, curiosity did indeed get the better of her.

:::[soon after]:::

Hardly a half hour later, Ranma was digging through her closet while Nabiki lounged on the bed, watching him with a bemused look.

"So let me just check and make sure I have all this straight," she said. "Your big plan to get back at this guy is to dress up like a woman and physically accost him? Is that right? You really are pure genius. What other horrors do you have in store, pray-tell?"

"I just want him to see what it's like," Ranma growled. "I'm sick and tired of him making me out to be some kind of horrible person just because random chicks are always throwing themselves at me. If he knew what I really went through, then maybe he wouldn't be so quick to talk. You know?"

"Well, I honestly can't believe you're going to do this," said Nabiki. "But I'll award you full use of my wardrobe based on creativity. Let me know how that turns out."

"Thanks. I appreciate it. Hey, do you have any wigs?" Wigs were good. He was going to need to look as different as possible, definitely.

"Wigs? Um," Nabiki rolled off the bed and went over to a large, chest-like box. She opened it up, revealing a collection of gaudy costume wear. "Maybe from Halloween or something. What kind do you want?"

"I dunno. Just something simple that looks real," said Ranma. Right now, he was focused on finding a dress. Now - what kind of girl might someone like Ryoga be into? First thing to come to mind was some kind of goodie-two-shoes, curly haired school girl. Someone like Akane, but not so pissed about everything all the time. Someone like Kasumi, but not so distant and frankly just plain weird to talk to. Hopeless romantic was a must, but then most every chick had that trait about them.

Nabiki had at least three school uniforms hanging clean and ready in her closet. But then again, school girl wasn't really his style. Dead sexy was more his style. Hey, he could say it - he was a smokin' hot babe when 'he' changed into a 'she'. And well, guys know what guys like. He may as well stick with what he knew best.

He pushed the uniforms aside and sifted through what other goodies Nabiki had, ultimately pulling out the first thing to catch his eye: a form-fitting blue cocktail dress, sleeveless, with a pretty black lace pattern over the shoulders. It was a little skanky, but he figured he could pull it off.

"This'll be perfect," he commented to himself. "You find a wig yet?"

"Here." He turned, and Nabiki handed him a few different tufts of hair. There was a red one that looked nothing but fake and a black one that was too rough and coarse, but a pretty short blond-do in the bunch caught his eye. He let the others drop to the floor and better examined his choice. It was stylish and flashy, but he figured he ought to be able to pull that off, too.

"Alright, Ranma, darling; let's get you all prettied up," said Nabiki. "Hmmm, this might not do it, though. I think you're going to need some glasses or something, so you're less recognizable."

"You're probably right," Ranma agreed. "I'll go look for some." He stuffed the dress and wig into his shirt and left the room. He entered his own, where he and his father slept. To his pleasant surprise, the old man had left a pair of his round-eyed seeing glasses conveniently unattended at his bedside. Ranma snatched them up and hurried downstairs to the bathroom.

He turned on the sink and splashed a bit of cold water over himself before changing.

"Hmmm," Ranma stood and analyzed herself in the mirror when her accoutrements were complete. For the first time since getting home, she was having the stirrings of second thoughts. This might not work. Maybe a little make-up would serve to make her even less recognizable.

She felt absolutely silly, opening up the cabinet and fumbling for the mascara, but a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. Call her a dog, would he? Just like everyone else, Ryoga just thought he was so great and that Ranma was just such a jerk. Well it wasn't her fault, the things that everyone liked to blame her for, and she was going to prove it. She was going to give Ryoga a taste of what she'd been putting up with for the last year of her life, a taste of what good, kind-hearted Ryoga was so laughably without: firsthand knowledge of the true psychotic nature of women. Oh, he'd be sorry. He'd be so sorry.

:::[uk-chan's okinomiyaki]:::

"Well!"

Akane entered Uk-Chan's Okinomiyaki with an air of confidence beneath that sweaty headband and loose martial arts wear, the likes of which she'd never had before. She was ready for this. _Definitely_. Maybe. Kind of?

Man, that 'pumped' feeling was fading fast.

"Akane!" Ukyo caught her eye with a warm and pleasant smile. What the hell was she trying to do, psyche her out? "You made it!"

"Of course I made it!" Akane spat in offense. "Why wouldn't I?"

Ukyo came close to look the younger girl over. A little too close for comfort, in Akane's book. She backed away from her; what was she looking at? "What...?"

"Geez," Ukyo grimaced. "I thought you'd at least shower before your date. Do you really just wear that around? Oh, but, whatever. It doesn't matter."

"Date?" Akane repeated the word, thoroughly confused. "What date? What are you talking about?" Before she had time to register what was happening, Ryoga burst into the restaurant looking at least twice as haggard as Akane in her exercise-wear.

"I made it!" he exclaimed. He was panting hard and out of breath. "Good thing I... gave myself plenty... of time," he said as he stumbled inside, looking barely able to stand.

"Ry-Ryoga?" Akane stammered in concern. Her eyes flickered over to Ukyo. "What the heck is this all about?"

Ukyo blinked at her. "You mean you didn't get my message?" she asked innocently. "Ryoga's message, I mean. I delivered it this morning."

"Oh, I got your message!" Akane said. "...but I... I thought - ... so it wasn't a challenge letter...?" That was kind of a relief. But... a date? With Ryoga? This had to be some kind of joke.

"Well, c'mon," Ukyo said, flashing an encouraging smile at the both of them. "Sit, and all will be revealed."

Oh, things are becoming clearer already, Akane thought.

"I, I bought these for you," Ryoga approached Akane with his head turned shyly away, one hand reaching out to offer her what appeared to be a bouquet of dead weeds. "On the way out."

"Th-thanks," Akane said. "I think." Shet set them down on a nearby table. Ryoga seemed more stiff than usual. Nervous, on edge. God, he probably didn't even want to be here. It was obvious what was going on now: Ukyo was trying to hook her up with Ryoga so that she could have Ranma all to herself. Wasn't that just rich; what a dirty thing to do! And getting good-hearted Ryoga mixed up in her wicked schemes, too? This woman was a real witch.

Ukyo sat them down at the bar and began preparing their food. It must've been their food, because there was no one else in the whole place. The sign on the window was flipped to closed. She was really going all out for this.

The match-making chef kept peeking over her shoulder at the pair. Neither was saying anything; Akane was staring at her and Ryoga was keeping his eyes down. This might be harder than she thought.

Ukyo cleared her throat. "Ryoga just wanted a little quality time with you, Akane," she explained with that saleswoman's smile while she cooked a dish of her famous Okinomiyaki. Alright, so it did smell pretty good. But nevermind that. Akane glanced over to Ryoga; he'd hardly looked at her since this whole charade began.

"Ryoga?" she whispered quietly. The cup he was holding shattered to pieces. Poor thing - he really was a mess. What on earth had Ukyo done to make him agree to this? This wasn't right at all.

"So," Ukyo was quick to go on. "Since you two lovebirds are just so cute together, this one's on the house. Stick around for a while, alright?"

"Thanks, but," Akane pushed her plate away and gave Ukyo a bored, flat look, telling her it was time to drop the act. "If Ryoga doesn't want to do this, there's no reason for you to force him to."

To her surprise, Ryoga interrupted. "She's not forcing me!" he said.

"That's right," said Ukyo.

"She isn't?"

"No! Akane..." Ryoga was finally looking her in the eye, though words still seemed to fail him. "I... I did want to be alone with you."

"...Really?" Akane wasn't sure she bought it. And after all, Ukyo could've dug up any amount of dirt on Ryoga to get him to say whatever she pleased. Hell, he could be under the influence of some sort of mind-control tea or something this very moment. It wasn't unheard of.

But he seemed so sincere.

"Yes," Ryoga nodded. Then his hand came up to scratch at his scalp in embarrassment. What he'd said sounded a little odd, didn't it? Akane was certainly staring at him as if he'd said something terribly odd. "I mean - I guess what I mean is, I wanna get to know you better."

"Oh."

Akane smiled at last. Ukyo smiled, too, and took that as her cue to leave.

"Well, I've got some errands to run, you guys," she announced. "Catch you two lovers later!"

Akane made a face. Laying it on a little thick, wasn't she?

The moment Ryoga saw Ukyo heading for the door, he jumped out of his seat after her. Akane's irritated frown returned in full.

"Wait!" he pleaded, grabbed her, and the pair started to whisper. Akane's frown sharpened. What was that about? What the heck could they be whispering about? That was suspicious. And Akane Tendo knew suspicious when she saw it.

"Where are you going?" Ryoga gripped the chef's arm and asked in a hushed voice.

"You idiot," Ukyo hissed, trying to shake him off. He wouldn't let go. "I thought you wanted to be alone with her!"

"I do, yes, but -" Ryoga was shaking all over her. He was too nervous. He'd never been totally alone with Akane, not as himself. His feet were ice cold. "I need you here," he squeezed Ukyo's arm and begged pitifully.

"Ugh, get off!"

"Um, _what's_ going on?" Akane finally asked, her annoyance clear in the tone of her question.

Ryoga looked back and Ukyo gave him a good shove over to her while his guard was down. That kid had a lot of muscle, somewhere.

"Nothing, nothing. Like I said, enjoy yourselves! I really must be going."

Ryoga and Akane looked at each other. Each fidgeted as they became locked in an awkward silence.

"H-heh," Ryoga laughed with a weak shrug. Akane smiled, not knowing what to say. "...What... now?"

"Is she making you do this?" Akane's eyes narrowed at him. "You don't have to take orders from her, you know. We could take her, you and me, if we had to."

"N-no! She's innocent. Really, I..." Ryoga sighed. She looked mad. He was blowing this, wasn't he? May as well apologize sooner rather than later. "I'm the one to blame for this. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to waste your time."

"Waste my time?" Akane let out a small laugh. "Don't be silly. I like hanging out with you." A faint blush had reached her cheeks. She'd never really considered Ryoga as a suitor before, but it was always nice to be liked. It made her stomach flutter in a way she wasn't use to feeling. "If you wanted to spend some time with me, then you should've just -"

Akane wasn't afforded the time to finish that last thought. At that moment, a rather rude stranger with surprising swiftness dipped into the restaurant, and the lovebird's conversation was cut short by a shout:

"Hey!" rang Ukyo's voice, who, incidently, had been spying outside her own property. "Hey, you! We're closed! Can't you read?"

The stranger paid her no mind; she acknowledged nothing at all, in fact, until crying out "Ryoga, darling!" and throwing her arms around the lost boy's neck.

"E-excuse me!" Akane started; Ryoga seemed, for a long moment, too stunned to speak.

"Ahh-hh! What? Miss, please," he choked, squirming in the girl's hold. Wow, who was this? Not many girls in Nerima had a choke-hold like that. "Please, whoever you are, let go!"

"Oh, Ryoga, baby! You're such a kidder," Ranma released him long enough to shove him down on a stool and plop onto 'the lost boy's' lap, whose utterly exhasperated expression was living entirely up to his name. "You're acting like you don't even know me."

"Because I don't!" Ryoga insisted. He struggled to push the girl away, but Ranma wouldn't budge. She sprawled out on his lap, latched her arms around his shoulders and gave the gape of his neck and loving caress. Ryoga squirmed even more frantically, but he couldn't get free.

Now Akane was too stunned for words. Ukyo entered the diner and came over to join her in her dismay.

"I have no idea who this is!" Ryoga assured them both, but Ranma's smothering begged to differ.

"Ryoga, who IS this!" Ukyo spat despite herself.

"I don't know!" Ryoga shouted.

"Well she can't just come in here and do that!"

"It's me, Ryoga," Ranma began. She sat up and brushed strands of fake blond hair from her face. Ryoga got his first good look at the female currently accosting him; she was actually fairly attractive, what with those cute little glasses hanging off the tip of her nose. She looked a little familiar, maybe; possibly. But Ryoga was certain they weren't familiar enough to warrant anything like this.

"You know..." Ranma finished, "Your long lost fiance!"

"Fiance...?" Ukyo muttered. "You didn't tell me you had a fiance!"

"I DON'T have a fiance!" Ryoga snarled. He was growing understandably more irritated. "I've never seen this girl before in my life! I swear!" He pushed Ranma away - gently, to Ranma's surprise. She knew he was harboring way more strength than he was using. Ha! What a gentleman.

As she slid off Ryoga's lap, Akane noticed something beneath the girl's shiny golden locks that didn't belong: a ratty red pigtail. Her eyes narrowed dangerously and her stomach boiled. What - the - HELL was he doing?

"I'm not surprised you don't remember me, Ryoga," Ranma stood and explained. "After all, we were but babes when our troublesome but well-meaning parents arranged for us to be bequeathed!"

Ryoga looked on, speechless. Why was this happening? This wasn't the kind of thing that just happened, not to him. Of all the times for some random, beautiful girl to come out of nowhere and profess his love for him, why here, and why now? Had he been burning down churches in his sleep lately?

"Ohh, is that right?" Akane glared straight into the strange girl's eyes and spoke in a voice that almost made Ranma wince. Sounded like she was on to this game. "And what's your name, huh? Your real name, Miss 'long-lost-fiance'? Huh?" Her nose scrunched up. Oh yeah, she was definitely on to this game.

Ranma's eyes took a quick second to glance over her. Wow - she really had come out on a date in her athletic wear. Ranma couldn't help but laugh.

"Who is this hideous tomboy, Ryoga, and why haven't you told her about me?" Ranma drew in an over-exaggerated gasp. "Ryoga! Are you... cheating on me with this... this smelly, completely un-cute girl!" She smacked a palm over her mouth and acted out a crying whimper.

"Wh-wh-wh-..." Ryoga's jung hung open. He looked mortified. This was going even better than Ranma had envisioned. "I'm sorry, I really think you have me confused with someone else," he said.

Ranma shook her head. "Not a chance, babe. I know my man when I see him." She lunged forward and trapped Ryoga in another amorous hug, his nose becoming so fully lodged in the cleavage beneath her dressy laced top that he couldn't speak. Then, one boney elbow came down with incredible force on Ranma's skull. She went limp for a good five seconds.

"Ukyo, run me some hot water," Akane demanded while Ranma was good and dazed.

"What?"

"Just do it. And you," Akane got up and yanked Ranma away from Ryoga. When she came-to, Ranma would be greeted by a very displeased, brown-eyed scowl. "You had better get out of here now, if you know what's good for you."

Ranma returned her glare with a dumb grin. "But... but Ryoga," she said, eyes turning over to him with a pleading look. Then she paused. Shit! She needed a name. Her eyes fell to her dress. "It's me, L... Lacy!" It came right off the top of her head. "Don't you know I love you! Don't let these mean girls hurt me, Ryoga... please!"

Ukyo retrieved a bucket from the back room and began filling it with water from the sink. Ranma kept a casual eye on these happenings while Akane attempted to keep her in check. Lucky for Ranma, there wasn't much for Akane to keep a hold of. This dress was practically skin-tight.

"...Nobody needs to get hurt," Ryoga mumbled.

Ukyo slipped her hand under the stream of water. She dumped the bucket out and set it aside, hand moving to her hip as she waited for several seconds.. Not hot just yet, huh? Perfect. In a flash, Ranma broke out of Akane's grip and sprinted over. She grabbed the bucket from the sink and flung it straight at Ryoga.

That oughtta get things movin'.

Ryoga was out of the way so fast, Akane wasn't sure she even saw him move.

"Hey!" Ukyo shouted. "What the hell is your problem? You jackass!"

"What'd you do that for!" Ryoga spoke in surprise. Ranma smirked at him, a dangerous look in her eye. She grabbed a big sturdy mixing bowl off the shelf and filled it with water.

"Whatever do you mean?" she responded innocently.

"Stop it!" Ukyo tried to yank the bowl out of her hands. "You're gonna break something, idiot! You break it, you buy it; you got that, lady?"

Akane fumed. This was beyond ridiculous. Why couldn't Ranma just leave her alone for once? This was pointless, and they didn't need to be wrecking Ukyo's restaurant over this.

"Let's get out of here," she suggested to Ryoga while Ranma was caught fighting with Ukyo. She didn't want for an answer before she grabbed ahold of him and dragged him out. He didn't need to put up with this, either, even if that girl really had been his long lost fiance.

"I really, really don't know who that was," Ryoga rambled on when they reached the streetside. "I couldn't have any fiances! I mean, I don't think so..."

"Forget about it," Akane said. "She's probably, just, you know, a little off. I bet she doesn't even know you either."

Sure, Akane could've outed Ranma right then and there, but God, it was embarrassing. So very embarrassing. Her face was still red hot. She hoped he'd just bug off and they could all forget this ever even happened. She was never so lucky, but that's what she hoped. What could he even mean to accomplish? If he was trying to make an impossibly large ass of himself, he succeeded.

"Yeah, she couldn't," Ryoga agreed with a faint smile. "Um, so, what do you want to do now? - I guess you could go home if you want."

Akane smiled at him, her blush returning. He'd thrown in that last bit so quickly, but it really did seem like Ryoga genuinely wanted to spend time with her. Well, he was sure a step-up from Ranma in the 'good company' department.

Her eyes fell to her clothes; she was suddenly feeling very self-concious. Ryoga had expected a date, and she showed up in this? Sheesh. She felt like a real jerk. She pulled her headband off and looked back up.

"I think I maybe will head home, for now," she said. Ryoga seemed to sink an inch. "But I'll see you later, okay?" she assured him. "Don't disappear on me."

She smiled, and Ryoga smiled back, but it took a great amount of effort on his part. "I understand. ...See you," he muttered, and all too quickly she had turned her back on him and started off toward the Tendo house.


	3. Chapter 3: Romantic Rendezvous, Take Two

**AN: **Now, the wheels really start to turn.

**Chapter 3: Romantic Rendezvous, Take Two**

"Stupid!" Ryoga scolded himself. "Stupid! Stupid!" And God, was he. How could he have let the situation get so out of hand? Damn that Ukyo. He'd have been better off confessing his love for Akane on his own, even if he never gathered the courage.

He wandered over to a nearby mailbox and began slamming his head onto it just to satisfy his need for self-punishment. This, of course, drew quite a few strange looks from surrounding pedestrians, including one whose attention Ryoga would quickly come to wish he hadn't drawn.

"Ryoga, there you are!" The words rang loud throughout the street and brought the lost boy back to reality. Unfortunately, not with enough time to escape.

The blond haired stranger - 'Lacy', she said her name was - was making her way toward him; when he saw her, Ryoga's first instinct was to leap away. Then to sprint even further away. He sprang for the first place he thought he could lose this psycho: the thick foliage along the outskirts of the Nerima lakeside park.

But this girl was fast. Real fast. Ryoga could hardly believe it. He had to go full speed to lose her, and she was still riding his tail the whole way. When he thought it was safe, he ducked into the brush and hid beneath some bushes. For several seconds, he thought he'd lucked out - but 'Lacy' was close behind, and this broad was not to be fooled.

Ranma crashed down on top of the boy, giving him a good scare.

"There you are!" She caught him in a hug, her grin wide and goofy beneath her eye-glasses.

"H-hey, now you stop that!" Ryoga demanded, finally taking on that assertive tone that Ranma was more familiar with. "I don't know who you are, but I am NOT your fiance. ...Or... whatever... miss," His voice dropped with the polite finish, that assertiveness shattered by the unwavering enthusiasm on Ranma's face. It was kind of hypnotizing.

"I know you don't remember, my love," Ranma sympathized. "But that doesn't mean I'm just going to let you run around with whoever you please!" Her hold on him tightened to something painful. "We were promised to each other, and nothing can ever change that!"

Yep. This was the usual routine. The one Ranma had gone through a good two or three times herself by now: girl shows up out of nowhere, guy can't remember girl in the least, girl insists they were meant for each other, blah blah, guy wants to shoot himself in the head. Ryoga was reacting pretty much as expected; maybe now he'd finally get why she was so miserable.

"Please... stop it!" Ryoga pled and struggled. "Nobody promised anything! I didn't! You don't even know anything about me. We've never met! Just leave me alone."

Ranma forced the boy onto his back. Her voice dropped, and suddenly her words sounded dangerous and threatening. "Silly P-chan," she cooed, a devilish smirk curling her lips. "You don't mean that."

Ryoga went white with horror. All the anger and confusion bled out of him and replaced itself with barefaced terror.

"How," he stammered, quickly discovering how difficult it was to speak with his heart lodged in his throat. "How? How do you know that name?"

Ranma smiled triumphantly to herself, seeing his defenses shatter. She'd hit a nerve right on the head, there, hadn't she? No sense in stopping now.

"Oh, silly Ryoga, darling," She sneered. "I know everything about you."

Ryoga - for the umpteenth time that day - was speechless. How was this possible? He'd never seen this woman before in his life. Not once. How could she know about something like that?

"Your likes, your dislikes," Ranma rambled on, backing off him enough for Ryoga to sit up. "That you turn into a pig... everything!"

"Quiet! Not so loud!" Ryoga begged. "That's... you can't just go around talking about that, alright? ...You... You have to tell me what else you know." Ryoga said as he inched away, "You have to tell me how you found out - no lies. Who ARE you? And what do you want?"

"No lies, babe," Ranma insisted. Now this was entertainment. "Haven't I told you enough? It's my job to know about you, I'm your fiance. I'm gonna be your wife!"

Ryoga opened his mouth to speak, but his jaw just plain hung there. Moments later he breathed a sort of incredulous laugh; Ranma wasn't sure what to make of that. It was such an odd sort of sigh that her brow quirked uncertainly.

"You mean you know all these things and yet..." Ryoga muttered at last, seeming to speak more to himself than to her, his eyes glazing over with a distant look. "And yet you still want to... be with me...?"

That previously horrified look in Ryoga's eyes suddenly softened, and the fun-time carnival music in Ranma's pretend-land came to a screeching halt.

"...What?" she asked in a flat, serious tone, the act falling away completely.

"I..." Ryoga paused. Lost for words, as per usual. Ranma had a few, but she wasn't going to blow her cover just yet; she just had to see where this one was going.

As the two sat on the ground, Ryoga moved to take her hand in his. Ranma almost had to jump back in surprise. She'd just had this guy running for his life! Now he wanted to turn into Mr. Touchy Feely?

"Lacy," Ryoga said. "That was your name, wasn't it?"

"Ahm... um," Ranma was the one stuttering now. "Yes," she confirmed. "That's right." She looked away. This was getting uncomfortable.

"Lacy..." Ryoga said the name again. Okay, so this girl was pretty nuts. But she was nuts about _him_. How crazy was that? He'd never met anyone so thrilled with him before; so thrilled at the thought of being with him. What was there to be thrilled about? He was eternally tongue-tied in the presence of women, eternally lost what-with his absurd sense of direction, and worse yet, eternally cursed to live out a second existence as a tiny black piglet. Woe was him. The things that Ranma liked to tease him about, it was all true; he really was a freak.

"I... really don't remember ever being promised to anyone," he finally went on. "But, you're very beautiful."

Ranma's heart dropped like a rock into her stomach. She felt like she was going to puke. Holding her hand, complimenting her... shit, this kid was actually into this bullshit. That... wasn't part of the plan. That hadn't even been considered as a possibility. This was officially too weird. She had to abort. _Abort_.

"Ohh, th-thank you, my... love," Ranma forced herself to manage as she started to her feet. She didn't even want to let on to who she was anymore, wave it in his face and laugh like she'd planned to do; no, now this was just embarrassing for the both of them. But Ryoga kept her close to the ground, her one hand fastened between his, unwilling to let go. "But I really must be -"

"Wait," Ryoga asked at once. "Can you tell me anything else about yourself? Where are you from? How did our parents know each other? Please, I need to know whatever you can tell me!"

"Heheheh, heheh, heh," Ranma laughed anxiously. "There'll be a time, dear, there'll be a ti-"

Ranma's words were stopped by something: another mouth, pressed fast against hers. No asking, no warning. The idiot just did it. Ranma was sure her gag reflex gave a jump.

Not to worry: Ryoga enjoyed himself. He was glowing. He'd never kissed a girl before. Well of course he wouldn't, not unless he thought that was what she wanted; and until very recently, no girl had ever seemed to want him.

So for a moment, Akane left his mind. Who could blame him? He'd probably already ruined all chances with her, anyway - but here was a new chance for him to be happy. A sure chance for him to be happy. He couldn't let that slip away.

Ranma would've screamed sooner, but she'd gone into a state of paralysis, and her throat was paper dry. It was like one of those nightmares where she'd try to scream for help, but her voice just didn't work. In the time it took her to regain the ability to move, Ryoga set his forehead to hers with a contented smile and, for fuck's sake, what looked to be tears swelling up in his eyes.

"I'm so happy," he whispered. "...to have found you." His arms came around her, pulling her into a close hug.

"Nn..nnyyAAAAAHHHH!" Ranma let out a shriek; a whimper which, in its urgency, broke into a high pitched wail. Ranma couldn't help it, it was damned effiminate, but she just couldn't help it: her hand rose up and swooped down in one swift motion, smacking Ryoga clean across the face. In a matter of seconds she had effectively screamed like a girl, open-palm slapped another guy, and saw fit from there to flee the scene. With a good solid wriggle, she broke out of Ryoga's arms and ran for it.

"Get OFF me! FREAK!" she cried, giving him a shove and leaving a stupefied Ryoga sitting alone in the brush to wonder what had just gone wrong.

Oh no. Oh, _no_. He'd ruined it, hadn't he? Not this, too! What the hell did he do that for? It felt like the right thing to do at the time; he thought that was what Lacy would've expected him to do. It seemed like what she wanted. Maybe it was too soon? He didn't know. He didn't know anything about these kinds of things.

Why did he always have to be so stupid?

_What if Akane found out about this?_

A pang of guilt rattled him to his core. He'd kissed another girl. Would Akane even take him now, if she knew that? This brief lapse in his resolve may have cost him what little chance he had left with the girl of his dreams. This wasn't what he'd come back to Nerima for.

He had to get to her. He had to confess and apologize. Of course they weren't 'officially' together or anything - but it was the principle of the matter! They'd had one date, and no matter how disastrous it may have been, he remembered that he hadn't yet been outright rejected. And damn it, Ryoga had honor, ethics, morals; traits that someone like Ranma would never understand. He was going to make a point not to treat Akane the way that dog treated her. If she rejected him for that, then so be it; he may be left broken hearted, but at least he wouldn't be a hypocrite.

:::[s-s-scene transition!]:::

The Tendo yard was deserted when Ryoga arrived. He walked up to the porch and stood at the door, trying to keep his nerves in check. But he couldn't ignore the pulsing sting of guilt twisting in his chest. He just couldn't believe he'd been so weak - Akane was finally paying attention to him, and he'd already gone and betrayed her. There really was something wrong with him. Something, on top of all the other things that were. He was his own worst enemy.

But it was only a single moment of weakness, and it wasn't ever going to happen again. He hoped Akane would understand that. She was the only girl for him.

His stiff arm knocked twice on the door. It cracked open just an inch and an old geezer peeked out at him. Ryoga was surprised to see this strange figure; he didn't recognize the old man. "Whassit?" the old man demanded. "No soliciters!"

"Oh, I'm just looking for the girl who lives here," he explained.

"Eh?" The geezer let out a croak, his one good eye bulging out of his skull. "My girls?"

"What? No. Mr Tendo's daughter Akan-" he stopped. He turned, eyes slipping to the mailbox.

Shit.

No, _of course _this wasn't the Tendo residence.

Ryoga hung his head and offered the homeowner a polite bow. "Sorry to waste your time," he apologized. "I'll be going..."

:::[meanwhile]:::

Ranma didn't stop running until she was a good mile away. She finally stopped when she reached the tall chain-link fence that stood behind Furinkin High, tossing herself against its metal lining and letting out an infuriated shout.

"That freak!" she exclaimed. "That FREAK!" she collapsed in a rage.

Somewhere along the course of her brilliant plan, something had gone awry. Ryoga wasn't suppose to get into it, and he definitely wasn't suppose to have done THAT. This was the second time Ranma had been smooched by another dude, and the disgusted, shame-filled flavor tasted very much the same as it did. (The last time didn't count; she'd used tape).

She ripped the silver eye glasses from her face and flung them away. The moment was looping in her head again and again. Besides fury and embarrassment, she felt something else as Ryoga's pitiful expression flashed through her mind: a burning sort of anxiousness. At last, some sense of pride was showing through and making her feel damned insecure in this skimpy, skintight outfit. Maybe she should've gone with the school girl idea. The way Ryoga had been looking at her - all eyes, like that; it was just _weird_. She was a boy, damn it. God, she had to get out of this dress. All she wanted right now was a good pair of pants.

"Ma'am?" a polite male voice drew her attention. Some jock passing by. "Are you alright?"

Ranma tore off her wig and threw it at him. "What's it to you, asshole?" she spat.

The student shielded himself. "Geez, lady," he said as he deflected the wig and it fluttered to the ground, "I'm just trying to help."

Ranma ignored him and got up. Had to get moving, no more wasting time. She needed to find some hot water, and some better clothes. But she wasn't going home like this. God forbid Ryoga was there, or 'P-chan'. No - she'd have to make-do with what she could find, head home quietly, and maybe not ever even talk about this ever again. Sweep it under the rug. Ryoga ought to be fine with that.

And he was the one always calling _her _a two-timer. Hmph!

She returned to the Nerima streets. Where to find some hot water...? The bathhouse was an option. But trips to the bathhouse as a female was tricky business for Ranma. It required some blending in and sneaking around. Usually into the men's section - stepping foot in the women's tub was a death sentence, but not many of the guys would throw much of a fit when a naked girl hops into the water with them. She could just dive in and come back up elsewhere, and walla! - it was good-bye girl-type, as Shampoo might say.

Hey, that's right - there was one place she knew she could go to bum some hot water, if it so suited him.

:::[getting catty at the cat cafe]:::

"Anything for my future son in law," Cologne smiled that decrepit smile at Ranma as she poured a cup of steaming hot water down over his head and shoulders. Ranma jerked away in pain. It was hot - way hotter than it needed to be. "Yowch!"

Cologne didn't pay his fidgeting any mind. "So glad you could come to visit," she said. "You and Shampoo ought to take a walk; it's such a nice, sunny day outside."

"Aiyah! Really, great grandmama!" Shampoo whirled around in excitement. She was standing over a big pot of noodles, an apron draped over her front and mixing spoon in hand. "Shampoo can take off work to go on date with fiance, Ranma!"

"Quit it," Ranma said, once again in his real form and all-man. These nice folks even let him borrow some of Mousse's clothes, though that near-sighted psycho was nowhere to be seen. "Don't be putting ideas in her head, you old bat; I just came for a quick favor, is all."

"But Ran-" Shampoo started.

"I said be quiet, will ya!" Ranma was in no mood.

Cologne slanted her head curiously. "My, you're awfully moody today, aren't you?" she said. "Is that any way to show your gratitude?"

Ranma looked straight at her. "...thanks," he said at last. The old woman and her lackeys could be alright people, sometimes. They really were doing him a big favor, even if there was probably some wacky ulterior motive he'd yet to realize. He still hated them and stuff, but this seemed the simplest way out of an unpleasant situation.

"I'd just like to know what on earth you were up to in that floozy get-up. Who ya tryin' to impress, hmm, future son in law?" Cologne chuckled dryly to herself. Ranma didn't bother to answer.

"I'm gonna need that back," he said instead, nodding over to the discarded blue dress that now lay limp over one of the cafe's chairs. "It's borrowed." Hopefully Nabiki wouldn't miss the wig.

"Oh, be my guest," said Cologne. "You remember to bring what you've got on back, too. Don't be a stranger."

Shampoo pouted. "Ranma," she whined pitifully. "You come back soon to see Shampoo, okay...?"

"Uh - yeah." Ranma grabbed up the dress and glanced around. He spotted a pile of to-go bags on the cafe's front counter. "Mind if I take one of these?" he asked.

"Not at all," said Cologne.

Ranma shoved the dress into the bag and took a moment to look at the two women before he headed for the door. "Thanks again," he said. "You're still nuts."

Cologne smirked. "You just remember my hospitality the next time I'm in need of a hot cup of water, eh?"

"Heh..." Ranma let out an uncomfortable laugh. "Seeya."

He heard Cologne's amused chuckle follow after him as he stepped out of the cafe. Well, despite that eerie undertone of hers, that had gone pretty well. The little ghoul had actually been downright civil to him for a good while now. It must've finally gotten through to her that he wouldn't be forced into anything he didn't want to do by any dumb 'Chinese Amazonian' law, or her sneaky little tricks.

Ranma had barely taken two steps out of the cafe before he heard an obnoxious buzzing come to an abrupt halt at his right. He turned his head as his full name was growled at him by a familiar voice.

"Ranma Saotome..." Mousse stood at the side of his delivery scooter, delivery trays in one hand, the other adjusting his wide-lensed glsses. "What are you..." His face scrunched up as if h wasn't sure. "...doing in my clothes?"

"Uh," Ranma glanced down. "Well, see, I just came by to -"

"Ranma..." came the nasty snarl. Mousse pulled a long, curved wooden rod from his back; where he'd been concealing it, Ranma couldn't say. "What've you been doing with my SHAMPOO?" Mousse charged.

"What? Whoa!" Ranma flinched, his hands shooting up in a defense gesture. "This is SO not what you're thinking! Not like it looks...!" he said.

Mousse leapt into the air. Ranma's neck craned up as the thick stick came straight down at his face, cutting through the air at an alarming speed.

:::[elsewhere]:::

"The sixth house..." Ryoga said to himself. It had been a few hours now and his feet were starting to ache, but the pain wasn't too bad. He was use to it. "This has got to be the one."

He double-checked the mailbox just to be sure. Tendo! He hurried to the door and knocked. Inside, he heard some scrambling, and a sweet familiar voice called out: "I'll get it, I'm headed out anyway..."

It was Akane. Ryoga held his breath and waited for her to open the door. When she did, he broke a weak grin, cheeks flushing at the sight of her.

She was wearing a nice dress now, her short hair styled and decorated with a big white bow. She looked gorgeous, absolutely dressed to impress. He definitely hadn't been expecting that.

"Oh, hey Ryoga!" she looked surprised to see him, but greeted him warmly all the same.

"Wow," Ryoga said, momentarily forgetting what he had come for. "You look... really beautiful..."

Akane smiled. "Thanks. It's funny you showed up like this; I was just going to look for you."

"You were?"

"Yep." She stepped outside and closed the door behind her. "I was wondering if you wanted to give that whole 'date' thing a try again."

Ryoga's eyes shined with new hope. "Really...? You want to? Yes! I'd love that!"

Akane laughed. "Great. Let's hope we're not interrupted this time, huh?"

_Let's hope we're not interrupted._ Ryoga's grin faltered as he remembered the confession he still had to make. Now he was even more frightened than before. "Yeah... but..." He swallowed. "There's something I need to tell you, first..."

Akane frowned curiously at him. "Yeah? What's that?"

Ryoga wondered whether his shaking was visible. "I need to tell you - I ran into that girl again, from earlier. 'Lacy'," he said. He lowered his eyes.

"Stop right there," Akane said flatly. _Ugh_, she thought sourly. _Ranma_..."Whatever it is, I don't want to know. Let's just... forget about her for now, okay?"

Ryoga blinked at her. He thought for a moment, contemplating what he should do. If he tried to tell her about a girl he kissed, and she didn't want to hear about it, was he at fault? It wasn't the same as lying to her. Or even keeping it from her. If she didn't want to hear it, she didn't want to hear it.

Looks like he'd lucked out.

He nodded slowly. "Okay... okay. Okay," he laughed a little. "You're right. We don't need to worry about her."

"That's right," Akane agreed. She entertained herself with the thought of how humorous Ranma's expression would be when he realized that his dumb little plan didn't even work. "Right now is all about you and me. So, where do you wanna go?"

Romantic, Ryoga definitely was; smooth, he most definitely was not. But at this point, he'd been looking for her for so long and feeling so desperate that Akane's question sparked the dead-tired truth out of him, and he didn't even realize until it was outwith how genuinely sweet it was.

"Anywhere, with you," he let out in one exhausted breath like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Akane's cheeks burned; her eyes flickered away. "Oh," she laughed. "You're sweet." She didn't know what else to say. "...How about... we just take a walk?"

"That sounds great," said Ryoga. "Uh... where, uh, to?" he asked with an apprehensive pause. If he was leading the way, there was really no telling where they'd end up.

Akane came next to him and slipped her elbow around his, her answer accompanied by a playful smile. "You said anything's good, right? So who cares? Get walkin'."

Ryoga suddenly felt that his knees might give out at any moment, but he would not disobey. "Y-yes ma'am," he stuttered and began leading her first away from, then in a round-about path back to her yard. Akane pressed up against him and lead him along the roadside - a slightly less absurd random choice of direction. Ryoga tensed up at the contact.

"So, what'd you do while I was getting ready all this time?" Akane asked.

"Uh," Ryoga started. That twisting, aching constriction made itself known again. His stomach rolled. "Nothing, really."

"I find that hard to believe," Akane said. "I always wonder where you end up going sometimes. I mean, you can't even find your way out of your own backyard? Really? How do you manage to get around? You must've gotten into all sorts of trouble over the years."

Her rambling statement caught him offguard. Ryoga laughed. "I definitely have." Though none tonight, he'd have liked to say, but that one didn't feel right. Ah, the gnawing, biting guilt. "I guess. I mean, mostly I just lose track of where I am and it's this crazy struggle to get back to where I wanted to be, so that makes for a lot of long trips. I keep comfortable shoes."

Akane laughed. Ryoga smiled at her; that might be his knew favorite sound. "I bet," she said. "I would, too."

They walked along the sidewalk shoulder to shoulder, their arms locked, all those warm things that couples do. Ryoga looked straight ahead, heart pounding wildly in his chest.

"It'll be dark, soon," he commented. The red of the setting sky was consuming too much of the horizon to ignore.

"Are you scared?" Akane teased, taking a poke at the timidness in his voice. He was so shy - it was cute. He was kind of cute, too. "I didn't figure you one to be scared of the city at night."

"Well, no... it's different when I'm by myself," said Ryoga. Akane looked at him without saying anything more, and so he tried to elaborate. "I know that I can... handle stuff. Whatever comes along."

"What, and I can't?" Akane tilted away in what was mostly feigned anger. Ryoga looked stunned. Akane tried to make her response playful as possible, but it came out ripe with irritation. She didn't appreciate being called weak. "Well if you're so good and all, you'll just have to protect me. From any boogiemen, I guess." One potential boogieman came to mind. Wonder where that ingrate had run off to..?

"I will," said Ryoga. The words seemed distant.

"I'm sure we'll be fine," Akane assured him in all seriousness.

"Yeah," Ryoga agreed. Then he went silent for a long while as they walked, and Akane's bent arm went slack.

"So why didn't you just tell me you wanted to hang out, huh?" she asked. "I would've liked to."

Ryoga tensed up again. "I wasn't sure you would."

"Why not?"

He drew in a long, deep breath. This was his shot to come out with it. To see how she reacted. Come on, Hibiki, don't be a wimp!

"I wanted to..." ...do more than hang out? Geez, that would sound a little overly suggestive. He couldn't say that. His tongue stumbled over the words. "I really like you," he finally managed, and quite abruptly at that. "A lot."

A tingle found its way down Akane's spine, ultimately bubbling out through her limbs and to the tips of her fingers, like the all-encompassing warmth of stepping into a hot bath. She looked down and started missing those long locks she use to have again. This short-do had no way of hiding the - well, whatever expression she had on her face at the time. She guessed it was one of surprise, even though she sort of saw that one coming from a mile away. Even so, it just surprised her to hear it reiterated for some reason, surprised her that Ryoga would come out and say it like that, that he'd put her on the spot like that. What the heck was she suppose to say now? That she liked him back? ...Did she?

Well, he was cute. And he was kind, and generous, and strong, and so very perservering, and always so polite to her, and, well, why the heck shouldn't she like him? There was only one reason that came into her head, and it wasn't much of one. As if she was going to spend the rest of her life with a jerk like Ranma! No, her so-called "engagement" wasn't much of a reason at all. Ranma sure as hell didn't own her, and her father didn't speak for her. He was the one who had said 'yes', after all. Definitely not her.

Akane let her slackened arm fall straight so that her palm inevitably met with Ryoga's. She held it in a soft, shy grip, her face flushing several shades of red. She'd never walked hand-in-hand with a boy before. She'd never even been so very close to someone that, admittedly, she admired. New and pleasant sensations abound, Akane couldn't help but smile. It was a wide and genuine smile, the kind she couldn't have concealed if she tried.

"I like you, too," she barely more than whispered.

Ryoga finally turned his head and looked at her. "You... you do?" He hadn't meant to sound quite so incredulous, but, well, he was. Up until now, and even still, he couldn't imagine why a smart, beautiful, perfect girl like Akane would want anything to do with him. But she did. She liked him. His heart was pounding, and for the first time he could recall, not in fear or out of panic or anxiousness, or just from the raw rush of adrenaline. No; this time his heart was pounding with pure, delirious bliss.

Akane returned his look and nodded. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I? We should get together more... This is nice."

Ryoga's fingers found their way in between hers and he returned her soft grip with one more formidable.

~~~  
>RAEDE<p> 


	4. Chapter 4: Paranoia

**Chapter 4: Paranoia**

Ranma wasn't sure what time it was when he returned home that evening. It had been dark outside for a while. He barged in the house, limbs sagging with exhaustion, the back of his hand pressed to the slope of his spine. Mousse had landed a good, hard hit there; that was going to hurt for a while.

Mousse had pretty impressive stamina for such a skinny, goofy looking guy. Giving him the slip had been no easy task. He'd managed to escape the wrath of the weapon's master only after a long, involved chase that led them to a busy stretch of Nerima's downtown subway system. The trouble they stirred up down there allowed him to lose his attacker in the chaos, but not without a few battle scars.

"_Ugh_." Ranma made his way to the sitting room and collapsed belly-first onto the couch. He could smell several different delectable smells in the air - rice, vegetables, the thick scent of cooked meat. The sitting room was empty, so he figured it must have been dinner time. His mouth watered. He was starving, but for the moment, he couldn't gather the will to move.

"So, how'd it go?" he heard Nabiki ask. She came into the room holding a small bowl of vegetables in one hand and a pair of chopsticks in the other.

"I don't really wanna talk about it," he said.

"That bad, huh?" Nabiki smirked and took a bite of her food. Her voice was annoyingly full of amusement. "Well, don't sweat it, Ranma-baby," she said through a full mouth. "I'm sure you'll come up with some other brilliant way to vindicate yourself soon enough." She swallowed. "Ohh, I know - why don't you try throwing money at him next time? Guys really hate that, too, I hear. Loose women and free cash - two things that no man can stand!"

Ranma pressed his face into the couch cushion. "Ha, _ha_," came the muffled, sarcastic words. "Things just got a little out of control is all. Give me a break, will ya? I'm tired."

"Fine, fine," Nabiki shrugged. "Where's my stuff?"

Ranma was still for a moment, then turned his head and winced. "Shit!" he cursed. "I lost track of it. I don't even remember when."

"You 'lost track of it'?" Nabiki repeated indignantly. "I find the kindness in my heart to let you borrow *MY* things, and you lose them? That was one of my _favorite _dresses, Ranma."

"Look, I'll pay you back, alright?"

"You better. I don't care about the wig, but that dress was something like three hundred dollars."

"Three hundred - are you serious! For a dress-?" Ranma rose up in surprise. Sharp pain bit into his back. "Agghh..." He wound up cringing, curling into the sofa. "Let me give you an IOU card, okay?" He grumbled, "I'll pay you back, somehow."

"Are you _alright_?" Nabiki asked in a manner that wasn't completely unempathetic, but perhaps reluctantly concerned.

"Yeah," Ranma said. "I just got hit pretty hard earlier."

"Oh my god, he didn't lay you out, did he?" Nabiki laughed and took another bite of her dinner. "That's too rich."

"_No_. Hell no he didn't! This is from Mousse. And he didn't lay me out either, he just caught me when I wasn't expecting it," Ranma insisted. "...Like I said, I don't really wanna talk about it." He glanced over at her to see Nabiki peering at him with a curious smirk, looking like she wanted to ask for more details. Ranma dove for a quick change of subject. "Where's Akane at, anyway?"

"How should I know? She's hasn't come home yet," Nabiki told him.

Ranma craned his neck around to look straight at Nabiki and frown. "Still? What time is it?"

"Like, seven something, I think?" she answered with a shrug. "So she'll probably be back any time now."

"What the heck -" Ranma paused mid-sentence, groaning as he slowly and carefully lifted himself off the couch. "- could she be doing?" He rolled his shoulders back and stretched. "Ow..."

"What am I, her keeper? Go find her yourself if you're so curious."

"She hasn't been back at all day?" he asked.

"Wow, what are you wearing?" Nabiki asked with a laugh when he got to his feet, eyeing him as he stood there in Mousse's turtle-necked kimono-thing.

"Nevermind that. I asked you a question."

"Hmm, actually... she did come back for a little while after you left," said Nabiki. "She came home and changed, then went back out again."

Ranma froze in thought. Nabiki didn't actually know anything about the whole 'date thing' at Ukyo's diner - all he'd told her was that he wanted to exact some much overdue revenge on Ryoga, and to teach him a lesson. That, of course, was only half the motive behind his scheme; the other half was putting a stop to this sudden, budding friendship of theirs. Even though his little escapade had wound up going horribly awry, he thought he had done a pretty good job putting those aspirations to rest, at least for the day - but maybe he hadn't been as thorough as he'd believed.

"That's weird," he muttered. There were no school activities this late or anything like that. His jaw clenched shut as he stared into space and calculated the many awful possibilities. Another question popped into his head.

"What're you so worried about? I'm sure she's fine." Nabiki added teasingly, "She's probably just cheating on you or something."

He stopped grinding his teeth and glanced at her. He huffed a breath and shrugged, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"Whatever," he said, eyes rolling to emphasize how very much he didn't care. "What about P-chan - you seen that runt at all today?"

"Um, no," Nabiki gave him a strange look, clearly finding the question rather random. "I haven't. Probably got out again. What's it to you?"

His suspicions bolstered and his jaw went tight again. So Akane was out late, and the little lost piggy hadn't come wandering home yet? He didn't like the implications of that. Not one bit. Damn it - had he really endured all that embarrassment and disgust for nothing?

He willed himself to calm down. After all, he was probably just jumping to conclusions. Just because neither Akane or Ryoga was here didn't necessarily mean that they were off somewhere together. Surely he was just being paranoid. Akane could've gone out to a friend's house or something simple like that, and Ryoga didn't even live here. Plus, his disappearing was nothing new.

Nibiki blinked as Ranma left the room without saying anything else.

"So then I said to him," Mr. Tendo was saying as he entered the dining area. "That's not a woolly rhino - that's my mother!"

He and Ranma's father shared a fit of boisterous laughter while Kasumi smiled and shook her head. Soun caught a glimpse of Ranma from over his shoulder; the older man turned and grinned at the boy.

"Ah, Ranma! Finally decided to join us." He waved him over. "Have a seat, grab a plate!"

"Oh, yes; before it gets too cold," said Kasumi.

Ranma did so silently and mechanically. There wasn't much food left.

"You look beat, boy. What's that yer wearin'?" Genma asked, leaning forward for a better look. Ranma noted that his father had gotten another pair of glasses from somewhere. He had to wonder at that. How many pairs did the old man have lying around, anyway? "Awful fancy digs. You have a hot date today or somethin'?"

Ranma glanced down at himself in Mousse's clothes. He guessed they did look pretty formal. He shrugged.

"Ohh," Soun said with a note of excitement in his voice. "I noticed Akane was all dressed up earlier before she left, too. You kids go out for a night on the town, eh?"

Genma and Soun both peered at him expectantly. Ranma's blood ran cold.

"...she was?"

"Oh, she looked lovely!" Kasumi interjected. "Her hair was perfect, and she was wearing this adorable dress that I bought her ages ago..."

Ranma started shaking his head. "Well she didn't get dressed up for me, I can tell ya that," he said. "I haven't seen her all day." His eyes darkened and he lowered his gaze to his plate. That was it, then - she had to have gone to meet Ryoga again. Who else could she be with? His heart suddenly felt physically heavy, almost like it was expanding, pushing uncomfortably up against his lungs - it made his breathing uneven. His nostrils flared. _Breathe, Ranma_, he told himself; _breathe_.

"Now, that's strange," said Soun. "Where could she be?" Genma shrugged at him.

"Hmm; I don't remember her saying anything about where she was going before she left," said Kasumi. "But she seemed to be in a very good mood all day today.

"I don't know," Ranma lied as he stabbed rather violently into one of his steamed vegetables. "But whoever she's with is keeping her out pretty late, don't you think?"

"Well, who's to say she's with anyone?" Soun reasoned, "Seems rather sudden for Akane to take up an interest in dating, I'll say. And without even telling us?"

"Er, well, what else could it be?" Ranma fidgeted. He didn't want the others to know he knew about Ryoga and Akane's date. For one, he didn't want to end up starting a conversation about the subject - and for two, he kind of wanted them to be as mad as he was at Ryoga whenever Akane did get home. It was a little low of him, but hey, it wasn't like he was spreading lies or anything, unlike some people. "Akane don't usually get herself prettied up for nothin', that's for sure," he said.

"Who knows - sometimes a woman just wants to feel beautiful," said Kasumi. "Whatever it is, I'm sure Akane will tell us all about it when she gets home."

Ranma glanced around as the table fell quiet.

"...So... none of you are even worried," Ranma began incredulously, "that it's almost eight o'clock at night, Akane still ain't home, and we have _no idea _where she's actually at?"

"It's... a little strange, I'll admit," said Soun. "But let's remember, Akane's almost a grown woman. She can take care of herself. I am curious as to what she's up to, though."

"Hello?" Ranma scowled. "I've got how many people out to kill or blackmail me, now? People have tried to get to me through Akane before. She could be in some kind of trouble."

"Ohh-ho-ho, don't be so paranoid, boy," said Genma with a chuckle. "Tell you what - if it gets any later, we'll all go out and look for her. But I bet you she'll be walking in here any minute, now."

Ranma pouted in defeat. Of course he didn't actually think Akane was in any immediate danger; it just irked him that none of them seemed care when, in his opinion, there was good reason to be concerned. Alright, so maybe it wasn't super late at night or anything, but still - she was usually home by now. She was usually home and if she wasn't, they usually had a good idea of where she was or probably was. She may have almost been a grown woman, but even grown women ought to have curfews - especially when multiple martial artists may or may not be out to kidnap them. Fucking Ryoga; wherever they were, he better have been taking good care of her.

A terrible thought sent his stomach churning and turned his focus away from riling up trouble. Ryoga happened to be one of those martial artists out 'to destroy him', after all. What if - ...ah, forget it; there was no way. Ryoga wouldn't do anything to harm Akane. He didn't have the guts.

But the uncertainty was making Ranma sick. He didn't know what bothered him more - the thought of those two becoming 'good friends', or Ryoga pulling some totally uncharacteristic shtick.

"Now, you know what this party needs?" Genma announced as he got to his feet, "Some shnapps!"

"Ohhh," Soun mouthed in eager agreement.

"Lushes," Ranma commented. He pushed his plate away. He didn't feel much like eating anymore. "I'm gonna go change out of this thing real fast," he said. He got up and left, waiting until he was out of their sight to snake an arm behind himself and rub at his aching back. Maybe he'd just lay down for a while and wait for Akane to get home. He'd feel better once he knew where she was at, and could get some details on this whole Ryoga situation.

~~~  
>RAEDE<p> 


	5. Chapter 5: A Late Return

**AN:** I don't really know what kind of windows they have in the Ranma house... I just decided to use glass ones, here. So's if I'm wrong, hopefully I don't break any nerd's immersion T_T

**Chapter 5: A Late Return**

Midnight. Ranma had decided to give them until midnight. If Akane still wasn't home by then, he could be sure something serious was up - and if anyone called him over-protective, then they'd be the silly one. He spent the hours up in his room, listening for the sound of opening doors and occasionally pacing between his bed and the window. He tried to stay busy and keep a clear head, but this became a more difficult task the longer the night went on.

By 11 o'clock, he was in full-blown brooding mode. A plethora of potential circumstances were cycling through his mind, and once again, Ranma didn't like the possibilities.

This was ridiculous - if someone's going to take a young girl like Akane out on a date, then it's common courtesy to have her home before the street lights turn on. Didn't that loser know that?

Even if he didn't, it came as a surprise to him that Akane would opt to stay out so late on her own. Even if they were... _you know, _getting way friendlier than they ought to be. It just wasn't like her. That thought roused the growing fear in him.

He decided to head downstairs.

Genma and Soun were in the sitting room. Soun was slumped over the arm of the couch, and his father - the big panda - had passed right out in sitting position, a tendril of drool hanging down from his jowls. Ranma wrinkled his nose at them. How embarrassing - two grown men that could barely hold their liquor. He imagined himself scrambling in there and startling them awake with shouts about how he'd found poor Akane beaten and bloodied in some dark alley while they were both sitting around drinking themselves stupid; an amusing thought, but he decided against it.

He let himself outside and peered around the garden. "Akane?" he called out, figuring it was worth a shot. Maybe she'd gotten home already and just didn't come inside.

There was no response. He walked around the yard and watched the street, absently wondering where Nabiki and Kasumi might be. Probably asleep by now. Some sisters they were.

He idled for some time, ambling around the yard and debating on starting his search early, when suddenly something in the distance caught his eye. Down the street outside the Tendo home, two figures appeared to be walking in his direction. Ranma squinted through the darkness, but all he could make out was a pair of vague silhouettes. Was that them? The heights looked to be about right. Ranma wondered what he should do. He quickly decided that he didn't want to be waiting outside like this when they showed up - that would make him look like he cared. He hurried back into the house, shut the door and perched himself in front of the window.

:::[down the street]:::

"I'm really sorry about this," Ryoga was saying. "I hope your dad doesn't get mad at you."

"Don't worry about it; it'll be fine," said Akane. "I'll just explain what happened. It's not like crazier stuff doesn't happen around here, you know?"

"I guess so," Ryoga agreed. "I just don't wanna cause any trouble."

"You won't. Trust me," said Akane. "In any case - I had a lot of fun with you today."

Ryoga smiled shyly at her. He still couldn't believe that all this was real. He was half-sure he'd wake up any second now. "I had a lot of fun, too," he said.

They came up on the porch and faced each other. Akane let out a sigh as she looked up at he house. "Finally," she said.

Ranma had watched them both approach, spying from his vantage point at the window. The relief of seeing Akane safe was short-lived. His eyes burned into Ryoga, the contempt practically oozing out of him. The sight of the lost boy brought him back to that sunny lake-side park they'd been at earlier that afternoon - and this did nothing at all to quell Ranma's anger. So the guy kisses one girl and then goes out with another in the same day? What a sick, stupid pervert. Ranma moved closer to the window until his nose touched the glass, but to his displeasure, he couldn't hear anything they were saying.

"Yep," Ryoga said, groping for words. "So, I guess I'll... see you tomorrow, then?"

Akane only had to think about it a moment before she nodded. "I'd like that. Maybe you can walk me to school."

_Yeah_, Akane thought in the back of her mind as she said the words. _Ranma ought to love that._

"Okay," Ryoga hastily agreed. "I'll be here tomorrow morning. ...Um..."

He cast his eyes down. This was it, the euphoric end to his very first date with Akane Tendo. Well, his second very first date - but still. He'd imagined this moment a hundred times, and those fantasies typically ended with what he figured all good first dates ended with: the first kiss.

But he wasn't making that mistake again. No sir. He swallowed nervously, unsure what to do. Maybe a hug would be okay...?

Akane could see pretty clearly what he was thinking. She waited, curious as to what he'd do. Ranma was wondering the same thing.

After a few seconds of her staring at him, Ryoga cleared his throat. "See you, then. ...Bye," he said.

A soft smile met Akane's lips, her own nervousness dissipating. "Okay," she said, "See you."

Before Ryoga could turn to leave, Akane took a step forward and inched up to lay a kiss flat against his cheek. It had been an impulse action, a harmless display of affection. She really did have a very good time with him, after all; why shouldn't she show it?

The soft touch of her lips against his face - his human face! - sent Ryoga's head flying into the clouds, and sent Ranma flying off his rocker.

The two lovebirds whirled around in surprise as the front door burst open, the moment shattered.

"Well, well," Ranma said as he stepped out. Akane took to his peripheal, his eyes fixed on Ryoga. "Look who's finally getting in."

Akane's features contorted in irritation. "Great. Hi, Ranma," she said flatly. Ranma ignored her. He marched up to Ryoga and gave the other boy a powerful shoulder-shove that sent him stumbling back just a few steps.

_"Ranma!"_ Akane gasped his name in surprise.

"What's the big idea, huh!" Ranma demanded, advancing on Ryoga. Their faces were just inches from each other as he shouted at him, "Do you have any idea what time it is!"

Ryoga had taken the shove without retaliating. He stared Ranma in the eye and nodded. "Yes," he said, "And I apologize." He was making a point of keeping his cool. He was the mature one here, after all.

"What the hell is your problem!" Akane shrieked.

"HE'S my problem!" Ranma spat, and one swift hand shot at Ryoga's neck. Ultimately it veered down, grabbed a tight handful of the boy's shirt and yanked it toward him. Ryoga resisted. "You don't take a teenage girl like Akane out on a date and bring her home at MIDNIGHT, you freak!" said Ranma.

"STOP IT! _Ranma _- I swear! - you let him go right now!" Akane babbled. On the surface, she looked absolutely mortified - yet she felt an increasing, distant awareness that her racing heart was being driven less by anger and more by a growing sense of excitement. Holy shit, she thought somewhere in her mind; he was mad. She figured he'd be mad, but good-martial-arts-Jesus, he was pissed. There wasn't any doubt about it: Ranma Saotome was jealous. Who could blame her for wanting to smile at that? As much as he called her ugly and uncute and tomboy-ish and whatever else, it was nice to know that he didn't really think those things.

"Like I said," Ryoga spoke slow and forcedly calm as the two boys glared at each other. "I'm sorry. This wasn't what I intended -"

"Yeah?" Ranma snarled in a low voice and yanked his shirt again. "So just what the shit were you two doing all this time, huh?"

"We -" Ryoga started and Ranma gave him a shake.

_"You what!"_

"...got lost," the other boy finished. Ranma's eyes narrowed. He might've said he didn't believe it, but in all reality, he knew that had a good likelihood of being true.

"What we were _doing_," Akane corrected him, "Is none of your business, Ranma. Now go back inside before you wake up the whole house!"

It was too late for that. Lights started coming on inside. A haggard-looking Mr. Tendo appeared in the doorway, and a sleepy-eyed Kasumi was making her way downstairs.

Soun cleared his throat. "_What _is going _on _here?" He sounded more annoyed than concerned, his tone impatient and his eyes drooping.

Akane looked to her father with pleading eyes. "Dad, make him stop!"

"Ranma," Ryoga warned, "I'm in a really good mood today, so I'm gonna give you up to five seconds take your hands off me."

"You ain't givin' me nothin'," Ranma reproached, giving the boy another push before taking step back. "I'm the one giving you a chance to run, right now, before I change my mind and break your teeth in for this, pigboy."

"I'd like to see you try," Ryoga said with a leer.

"If anyone's going to be knocking anyone's teeth in, it'll have to wait 'til morning," Soun told them. "What are you kids doing up at this hour? It's a school night!"

"Yeah!" Ranma confirmed this excitedly, finally looking back at Mr. Tendo. "We have school tomorrow. And Ryoga kept Akane out half the night!" He pointed accusingly at the other boy, who became petrified there as Soun's eyes met his.

"Hmm," Soun grumbled and pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. He was too tired to deal with this. He let his arm drop and spoke sternly. "Ryoga, I'm surprised at you," he said. "If this is what I can come to expect from you, I don't want you taking Akane out *any*more."

"That's right!" Ranma agreed.

"I-I'm sorry, Mr. Tendo," Ryoga stuttered. "It won't happen again -"

"Dad...!" Akane interrupted. "It's not Ryoga's fault. We were just taking a walk, and we got to talking, and - well before I knew it, we were lost in a weird part of town, and we wound up trying to find our way back all night. Otherwise I would have been home hours ago!"

"Oh, well, see now? That's more understandable," said Kasumi from behind Mr. Tendo. "Isn't it father?"

Soun paused a moment and nodded. "Hm, yes; I suppose that is different..."

"Different how!" Ranma demanded. "What difference does it make? If she hadn't been out with Waldo here in the first place, this never would've happened. Now she's going to be dead tired tomorrow - she'll probably look like hell -"

"Oh, shut up!" Akane smacked his shoulder.

"How should they have been able to foresee such circumstances?" asked Kasumi. Ranma glared at her. It was almost as though she was defending Ryoga. "Let's just quiet down, forget about all this, and get back to bed, okay?"

"That sounds like a perfect solution," said Soun. "Come on, you two, get inside. Ryoga, you have some place you can go?"

"...Yes... don't worry about me," Ryoga said. "I'll get out of your hair. I'm... really sorry about all this..."

"Better be..." Ranma muttered.

"Oh, it's alright. Like Kasumi said," said Soun, "Let's just forget about all of this." He turned his attention to Ranma and Akane and waved a hand to invite them in. "Come on, upstairs. Go on."

"Bye, Ryoga," Akane said with a note of sadness as she and Ranma went into the house. Soun watched as his daughters and Ranma headed up to their rooms.

Akane waited in the hall for Kasumi to shut her door before she turned to Ranma and hissed through the darkness at him, "You're COMPLETELY unbelievable, you know that?"

"You're the one I can't believe," Ranma hissed back. _"'Ohh, we got lost'," _he mocked. "Likely story."

"We DID get lost, you dumb jerk," said Akane, finding it hard to keep her voice low. "What kind of girl do you take me for?"

Ranma was finding similar difficulty in containing his itching temper. Geez, she really was all done up, he thought - a little more make-up and a tomboy like her could be made into a real knock-out.

"I don't know - apparently one that shacks up with dirty bums like Ryoga," he remarked.

Akane's jaw hung slack in offense. "For your information," she started, "Ryoga happens to be more of a gentleman than you'll _ever _be. But I didn't 'shack up' with anybody; you take that back!"

"Then what was that kiss all about, huh!"

"You were watching!" Akane pointed out in a shrill, amused voice. The idea brought that distant excitement to the forefront and she laughed, "You're jealous of him, aren't you?"

"_No_, I am not _jealous_," Ranma argued, face going red at her laughter. "What's to be jealous about? What I am is pissed that you could have such poor judgement."

"What do you mean 'poor judgement'? And don't even try to tell me you aren't jealous," Akane huffed, "What was with that whole display earlier at Ukyo's diner, then? Seems like a lot of trouble to go through to ruin our day when I mean so little to you."

Ranma deliberately ignored the rest of her statement. "What I mean is," he said, "You put yourself in harm's way by going out with him without even telling anyone where you'd be at - the guy is out to _kill _me, Akane!"

"Yeah, well, he's not out to kill _me_, so what's the big deal?" Akane frowned. "Either way, it's none of your concern what I do. I can take care of myself, thank you very much."

"Actually, Akane, it is my concern," Ranma said, "Because whether you or I like it or not, you're my fiance, and that makes me responsible for you. That's why I cant allow this to go on - because if anything ends up happening to you, then I just know it's gonna come back and bite me in the ass."

"Hmph! Well that's just too bad for you, because you don't ALLOW me to do anything, Ranma!" said Akane, becoming irate as her voice rose to a near-shout. Why did he always have to act so selfish all the time?

"I'm warning you, Akane," said Ranma. "You keep this up, and I won't let you out of my sight for a second. You won't have a moment of peace, hear me? It's for your own good!"

Akane stared in silence up at Ranma, her frown indignant and sharp. Slowly, it softened, and she began quite plainly cracking up. "Are you serious?" she laughed.

"What're you laughing at!" Ranma demanded.

"You are SO jealous!" said Akane, giving him a hard-but-playful jab in the chest. "This is really driving you crazy, isn't it?"

"Oh, come off it!" Ranma growled, his cheeks flushed. "Like I said, I'm just watching my ass here. Jealousy's got nothing to do with it."

Akane spoke in a sweetly condescending manner, "Don't worry, Ranma; it's not like me and Ryoga are suddenly an item or anything. Who knows?" she said as she turned to enter her room, "Be a little nicer sometimes and maybe you'll get your chance, too."

She moved to shut her door, but Ranma hastened forward and stuck his palm out to hold it open. They weren't finished here. "Like I'd want it," he said sarcastically, "but does that mean you're gonna stay away from him, then?"

"I'll do what I want, Ranma," Akane told him. "Now go away, I wanna get some sleep. And you should, too."

She gave the door a hard push, and Ranma couldn't thwart its slamming shut. That girl was like a frickin' lumberjack. "Well, you just remember what I said!" he raised his voice and said, "Whether you two are an 'item' or not, it still stands!"

_"Go to bed,_ Ranma."

Still fuming, he did as she said.

~~~  
>RAEDE<p> 


	6. Chapter 6: In the Cover of Night

**AN:** _**BIG FAT EXPLICIT CONTENT WARNING!**_: THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET RAUNCHY, FOLKS. This chapter includes two erotic solo scenes which I've decided not to edit out here due to their briefness and integrity to the plot. So if you're not into that kind of thing, skim or flee. Besides that, this chapter's mostly more set-up. Enjoy~

**Chapter 6: In the Cover of Night**

Out in the Tendo garden, Ryoga found a watering can and filled it from the pond. Besides needing some place to crash for the night, he was already yearning to see Akane's face again.

This day had been perfect. Well, alright - so maybe parts of it had actually been kind of horrible, come to think of it. What with the disaster at Ukyo's, and what had happend between him and that 'Lacy'-girl, and then getting himself and Akane hopelessly lost in Nerima. But even so, it had been one of the best days that Ryoga could remember, because today, he'd finally done it: he'd confessed his love to Akane Tendo at last! And getting lost with her was a far cry from being lost all by himself, that was for sure. They'd really bonded that day; he touched his cheek and beamed happily at the thought.

Ye if truth be told, all this happiness came to him with a heavy heart. The kiss he'd shared with that beautiful blond stranger was haunting him; even if Akane didn't know about it, and even if she didn't want to know about it, that didn't change the fact that it had happened. He wondered whether he'd ever see his so-called 'fiance' again, or if she'd run off for good. He sincerely hoped for the latter; he didn't want anything threatening his new relationship with Akane.

Ryoga started climbing up a tree nearby the house, careful to keep the water-can steady. He stripped down, abandoned his clothes in the branches and prepared to change shape. He lifted the can over his head and tilted it; cold water trickled from its spout. It fell from the treetop and hit the ground with a metallic clang as Ryoga transformed instantly from a virile young man into an adorable baby piglet.

His tiny little legs trotted across one thick branch and hopped over to the first-story roof. He made his way to Akane's window and lifted one foot up to knock on the glass.

Akane stirred beneath her covers. She was very nearly asleep, but a soft tap-tapping sound brought her back to full, irritated consciousness. She rolled over and lifted her head, catching a glimpse of black and orange outside her bedroom window. Her heart nearly jumped out of her throat; she threw her blanket off, hopped to her feet and rushed to slide the window open.

_"P-chan!"_ she screeched, scooping the little piglet up in her arms. "_Baby_...! How did you even get up there...?"

P-chan snorted sweetly as Akane hugged him to her chest - which happened to be mostly bare, as she had foregone PJ's out of exhaustion and opted to crawl into bed in her underwear that night. Within the little animal's mind, Ryoga was struck with a familiar euphoria. He wouldn't have liked to admit it, but being able to turn into a piglet had its up sides - or, more accurately, being Akane's pet had its up sides. Its warm, soft up sides.

What? He wasn't perverted or anything. He'd never asked to be Akane's pet. It just sort of happened, and it was her loving, nurturing ownership that had so smitten Ryoga in the first place. That's why he didn't consider himself to be taking advantage of her. This was merely the first bond that they had shared, and it was nothing but innocent.

That's what he kept telling himself, anyway.

"Bad piggy... you've got to stop running away all the time," Akane scolded. "What am I gonna do with you...?"

She set him down by her pillow and got back under the covers. A smile spread on her lips as he curled up with her. She never could stay mad at little P for very long.

"Guess what, P?" she whispered as one finger scratched behind his ear. She spoke with a bubbly excitement, as though gossiping with a friend, _"Ryoga has a crush on me."_

P-chan looked up at her, oinked, and she nodded. "Mhm. You've never met him, but I wish you could. He's gonna come walk me to school tomorrow morning. So don't run away before then, okay?" She tapped his nose playfully and he let out a whimper.

Akane lay on her side, cheek to her pillow as she quietly told him about her day. "Ranma was a bigger idiot than usual today," she said. "I think he was jealous." Ryoga inwardly smirked at that. There was another 'first' today: he was finally beating Ranma at something. He recalled with vengeful pride the furious look in Ranma's eyes as he came storming from the front door.

"What do you think, P?" Akane asked, giving him a poke. "Is Ranma jealous?"

P-chan oinked and snorted enthusiastically, rousing a giggle out of Akane.

"Hmm..." she hummed softly as she eyed P-chan in the dim light. "Hey, P..." She tilted her head thoughtfully and smiled. "I never noticed before, but..." Her fingers traced the cloth of his bandana. "Your collar... it looks just like the bandana Ryoga's always wearing. How silly!"

Ryoga's heart must've skipped two beats when she said that. He froze, staring up at her with two saucer-like eyes, praying that she wasn't about to make a very unfortunate realization. All the many slip-ups he'd made in his pursuit to keep his identity secret from her flashed into his mind, right along with every pig joke Ranma had ever made in his presence. With all of this in consideration, it was truly a wonder that Akane hadn't already pieced together the truth. He was starting to panic, but lucky for him, the similarity didn't make for a lick of suspicion in Akane's mind. If anything, she found it amusing, and had only made the observation because the bandana-wearing boy was still so fresh in her thoughts. She replayed their night together over in her mind, her eyes closing with an easy smile.

P-chan relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief. Good, he thought. She's going to sleep. He let his own eyes fall shut, too.

But Akane wouldn't be able to fall asleep for some time; too much was going on in her brain. She was in a good, happy mood, and it was a feeling she decided to indulge in. After all, it wasn't often that she felt this good - that she felt this attractive. She was glowing. Sure, the guys at Furinkan were all over her pretty much constantly, but it was different when the men in her personal life - the ones that she actually cared about - showed any affection for her. Now, Ryoga had a crush on her, and even Ranma had been forced to show a little personal interest, even if he'd done it in the most butthead way possible. Both these developments had their own appeal: on one hand, there was Ranma to think about, who could be sweet sometimes, but who was typically too busy being an insensitive jerk and making her life miserable for them to share anything beyond an argument. Deep, deep down, she knew he had feelings for her - that was obvious. And though she'd hate to admit it, she had some for him too; there was something particularly alluring about being the object of desire to her unwanted house guest.

Then there was Ryoga. Somehow, the fact that he thought of her the way he did was an even bigger boost to her ego than Ranma's frazzled nerves. There was just something about him. There had always been something about him that intrigued her, and that something was this: Ryoga was _sexy_. Sure, he wasn't, like, movie star sexy or anything, but to Akane, Ryoga was captivating in his own right. First of all, no matter how much she got to know him, she couldn't shake that distant, mysterious stranger quality he had about him, probably because he always made himself so scarce. Secondly, there was more to him than his stuttering tongue and shyness, which Akane had noticed were problems that only arose when he was speaking to a female. When he was talking to another guy, however, like Ranma, then he was a strong and confident personality - probably exactly the type of guy she'd go for, if she were interested in dating. Yep - the strong, sensitive type. She considered his apprehension around women to be an endearing trait; he was the kind of guy that wouldn't touch her without permission, who wouldn't ever put her down or do anything to make her cry. That sense of chivalry had a special appeal to her.

Akane rolled onto her back, her shoulder rubbing up against P-chan. She was beginning to feel that feverish, aching sensation that any girl her age was bound to feel in the wee hours of the morning, and her current train of thought easily adapted itself to her mood. There wasn't much substance to her ensuing fantasy; broken visions of Ryoga came into her mind with little to no linearity. She imagined what he might look like touching her, kissing her, fucking her - absently, her hand situated itself below her naval. The action was a force of habit and initially without purpose, but once it was there, it wasn't long before she was pressing four firm fingers to the bump of her clitoris, intensifying her fantasies with the tickle of nerves.

The stimulation was addicting once she started. Her heart beat went fluttering as the dream intensified, the temperature beneath her blanket quickly rising to something tropical. She kicked the cover off, exposing her hot skin to the cool air of her room. She didn't care at all that P-chan was right next to her while her hand slipped into her underwear. Why should she? She may have talked to him like a person, but P was just an animal, after all. He didn't know what was going on. Her fingers became wet as they rubbed at her naked clit and explored the warm opening of her pussy.

Ryoga hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary, right up until the covers came off. P-chan opened his eyes and looked over to see what was the matter. His attention raked to her waist and those sleepy eyes of his shot wide open. No words entered his head, no thoughts, no nothing for several seconds. He sat there transfixed, a rush of excitement washing over him and making his whole tiny faux-body tingle and go weak.

The smallest moan escaped Akane's lips as her exploring hand quickened, and Ryoga became suddenly aware that he should look away. If he was any sort of real gentleman at all, he'd look away. But this was easier said than done, and somewhere in his conscious he denied the raw elation in the very back of his mind that cried out that truly, this was exactly what he'd been waiting for all this time.

Akane began to whimper, a sound that, had Ryoga been in his own body, he was sure would've had him rock-hard in seconds. He just couldn't turn his eyes away. He didn't have the strength. Every time he tried, the sounds brought them back. Moments later, Akane sat up and hurriedly pulled her panties down; she set them aside and laid flat with her legs spread. She was sweating now, and she wanted desperately to finish. She'd only been able to bring herself to orgasm a few times before, but tonight she was getting close with surprising ease.

"_Nnnh_..." She stared up at the ceiling, her gaze fogged over as Ryoga pounded into her in her mind's eye. P-chan was still at her shoulder, watching with what she would've called innocent curiosity. "_Ohh-hh, oh_," she groaned, coming closer and closer to her goal. Her brow curled and her eyes shut tight, her pleasure coming to a crescendo. She imagined herself saying his name, getting him heated; without even realizing it, the barely audible whisper spilled off her lips: "_Ryoga..."_

P-chan's ears perked straight up. _Akane_, he thought. _She's... thinking about... _Ryoga was made to wonder whether this was really happening or if he'd fallen asleep and didn't know it. If this was real, he was sure he was going to have a heart-attack - there'd be a plaque out in the yard marking little P-chan's grave by morning if he didn't find some kind, any kind of relief. Several feelings more potent than he'd ever felt before erupted in him with dangerous intensity. This became more true by the second as he watched Akane arch her head back, her jaw falling open as she finally met with that frenzy of elusive bliss. Ryoga was boiling inside; all he wanted to do was tell her how absurdly beautiful she was, but all that came out was oinks and snorts.

Akane lay still for a time once she was done, then rolled onto her side and tugged the blanket back over her, satisfied. Lustful thoughts of Ryoga left her mind at once, having served their purpose, and she quickly began drifting off to sleep. P-chan jumped off the bed and bolted for the door. With Akane's mostly-nude body burned into his memory, he had one thing and one thing only on his mind. And he had to do it now.

"_Ugh, _P-chan_," _groaned Akane, looking over as he scratched his feet at the door. "Fine, I'll let you out... hopefully this place is all closed up." She reluctantly got up and opened the door.

P-chan scurried out and down the hall at lightning speed. He ended up stumbling all the way down the stairs, his plump little body bouncing to the bottom. He scrambled to regain his footing and continued toward the bathroom.

:::[upstairs]:::

Ranma awoke in a cold sweat. He remembered that he'd been dreaming of a happy place - a warm, sunny park where he and Akane were going to have a picnic. She was carrying a big, wooden basket and he a rolled-up blanket under one arm; they found a shady spot beneath a tree and settled there. Akane smiled at him as they sat down across from each other and placed the basket in between them. When Ranma reached forward to open it, the lid flew up, and Ryoga leapt out to tackle Ranma to his back and engage him in a long, steamy make-out session from which he could not struggle free.

"_What _the _fuck_?" Ranma rubbed his tired eyes and groaned to himself - quietly, as his panda of a father was sleeping nearby. He cupped his hands over his face. "What the fuck! Christ."

He lay awake on his roll-out mattress, mentally cursing Ryoga for having forever scarred his psyche. After that, getting back to sleep was nearly impossible. He tossed and turned, but he couldn't get comfortable, and his still-aching back wasn't helping matters.

He heard the sound of a faucet cutting on from downstairs. The torrent was loud and sounded thick, like someone was running bathwater.

_A bath at this hour? Seriously?_ He thought to himself, wondering who it could be. Whoever it was, the noise was making him thirsty. Presently, he realized how dry his throat was. He pushed his blanket off and got up, heading downstairs for a drink.

On his way to the kitchen, he stopped dead in his tracks at the base of the stairs, his attention alerted by a series of noises from outside. Someone was making a racket. First he heard the clang of something striking metal, then a thud followed by what sounded like a tumble and shuffling. Naturally, Ranma was more than a little curious. Quietly, swiftly, he went to investigate, readying himself for the possibility of combat.

But the yard was empty. Out in the grass, Ranma spotted a watering can lying out of place on its side. Eyes narrowed, he walked over to it and picked it up, the pieces of this strangeness easily coming together in his head. Ryoga, he thought, anger stirring. Going for his nightly peep-show, no doubt. He looked up. In the tree overhead, he could see the dark, sagging shapes of clothes hanging in the branches.

He violently tossed the water can back to the ground and went back inside. He'd have liked to go up to Akane's room, kick in the door and strangle that little pervert, but he'd never be able to think up a good enough excuse for murdering Akane's pet. He thought about going up there anyway, with intent to reveal the truth to Akane - that P-chan wasn't at all the cute innocent little piglet that she believed him to be, but this was an idle thought. Yeah, he was pissed at Ryoga; royally pissed. But he wasn't a big enough jerk to break his promise. If anything, Ranma Saotome was a man of his word.

He ran himself a glass of water from the sink and drank it all in one long gulp. His thoughts returned to whoever might have been taking a bath so very late at night - or so very early in the morning, as the case may have been. He noticed that he could no longer hear the water running. _Odd_, he thought. Again, he wondered who it could be at this hour.

He peeked into the hall, eyes drawn to a sliver of light escaping the cracks around the bathroom door. It was probably one of the girls in there, he figured, doing whatever girly things they do. He felt a pang of hopefulness at the thought of it being Akane in there. Suddenly, he wanted very much to talk to her. On the off chance that it really was her, he went to the door and knocked softly.

"Akane?" he called. "That you?"

On the other side of the door, Ryoga was sitting nude atop the toilet seat, cock in his hand, furiously pumping away. Ranma's voice startled the ever-living-shit out of him, but he didn't stop. He wasn't sure he could stop if he wanted to. He was so, so very close now; he could feel tingling and stirring at the base of his dick as Akane flashed through his mind. He clenched his teeth and stayed quiet, his breath pantingly uneven.

Ranma knocked again when no one answered. "Hello?" he said. "Who's in there?" Still, no response. He was sure someone was inside - he could hear something, some evidence of movement. His shoulders sagged; it had to be Akane. Who else in this house would just blatantly ignore him like that? She must've still been mad. Ranma sighed. Even though it was always by his own doing, he really hated it when she was mad at him.

"Look, Akane," he started, scratching his head. Maybe he could try that 'being nice' thing for once. "I'm really sorry about... everything, okay? I don't know what came over me, I just - ...Just say something, will ya? I hate it when you ignore me like this." He winced. He'd never been very good at apologies.

No answer. Ranma was getting irritated now. "_Please_," he begged. "I wanna talk to you." More silence. He became impatient. "Say something, or I'll assume you're not in there. ...I kinda need to 'go', so I'm gonna count to three." He began,_ "Three..."_

_Oh no, oh no, oh no,_ Ryoga thought as panic set in. Not now! Why hadn't he kept the light off? He let out one long, fevered breath as he came, curling forward, his head almost between his knees as cum coated his stomach. There was very little time to enjoy the afterglow.

_"Two..." _Ranma hesitated before counting any further. Maybe she really wasn't in there, he thought.

Ryoga needed an escape route. What to do? There were no windows. He'd have to turn back into a pig. He couldn't be seen like this. He lurched for the faucet, but it was too late.

The door opened and Ranma stood mere feet away from him. Ryoga froze in fear, hands launching down to cover his shame.

Ranma stood perfectly still, staring blankly at the other boy. Slowly, his eyes trailed down, and he noticed the shine of white dripping down Ryoga's stomach.

"Uh - uhmn," Ryoga stammered, not knowing what to say. "I just - I had to use the bathroom."

Ranma stepped into the room and slid the door closed behind him.

"Oh," he said. "You are So. Fucking. _Dead_."

:::[elsewhere]:::

Unbeknownst to anyone within the Tendo home, a tall, dark figure crept over the rooftop, limping as he went. Mousse was dressed all in black, face covered and hidden behind his massive spectacles. He stopped and set the point of his sword to the roof's shingles, using it to stabilize himself as he bent down and gripped a hand around his throbbing ankle. He'd tripped on his way through the yard and took a bad fall; who the heck leaves a watering can just lying around in the open like that, anyway? He scowled at the thought, and at his own near-sightedness. He hated traveling by night, but it was best for cover. Except now he couldn't even do what he'd come here to do with this silly wound.

He stood back up, trying to ignore the pain. He'd have to do this another time. He lifted his sword and pointed it at the house as he declared in a dangerous, growling tone, "Ranma Saotome has taken the flower of my beautiful Shampoo. ...In revenge, I will take from him what he loves most." His body turned turned, sword pointed still as he finished, "Until next time, _Akane Tendo."_

With that, Mousse took a one-legged leap to the ground and limped off into the darkness.

~~~  
>RAEDE<p> 


	7. Chapter 7: The Morning After

**AN: **Kind of a short chapter, cut off early 'cause it was getting too long... Oh, and I had a question for those reading - as it turns out, I just can't seem to find a SINGLE active Ranma 1/2 centric community on the interwebs (that speaks English), and I'm really craving a place to shoot-the-shit with other Ranma lovers, so I've been debating just starting up one of my own. I don't wanna do so all by my lonelies, though D: if there's any interest in that sort of thing, lemme know. If I did it would probably be on LJ or possibly a free forum. Anywho, off we go...

**Chapter 7: The Morning After**

"Ranma, aren't you going to eat anything?" Kasumi asked with concern. "There's miso soup, made just how you like it."

"I don't really have much of an apetite, thanks," Ranma replied flatly. He was sitting with his arms crossed over the kitchen table, staring into a tall glass of milk. His lower left jaw was purple and bruised and his tongue snaked over the ache of a chipped tooth. Nobody'd said anything about it yet, as bumps and scratches were fairly regular occurrences for the young martial artist. Nabiki and Kasumi were both enjoying their breakfast in a mutually sleepy silence; Akane hadn't come down yet.

"Well, get your elbows off the table. Manners," Kasumi reminded him. However much the request annoyed him, Ranma obeyed.

"Has anyone seen P-chan?" he heard Akane ask as she came into the kitchen.

"Hmph," Ranma grunted. Akane stopped, looked at him and frowned. "Ranma, have you seen him?"

Ranma lifted his glass and took a long, slow gulp of milk. He smacked his lips as he set it down. "Nope," he said.

Akane sighed and looked uneasily around the kitchen. She turned around and left to search the rest of the house.

:::[outside]:::

Ryoga sat on the sidewalk outside the Tendo house, elbows on his knees, his cheek resting on one palm while his other hand made a fist and began softly, repeatedly bumping against his forehead. He stared at the ground, the euphoria of the previous night gone completely, replaced instead with feelings of fear, guilt, and shame. He should've been happy - he was about to have the privilege of walking the beautiful Akane Tendo to school, after all. But not a single part of him felt any good at all; even his skin felt slimy. He'd been hoping and praying all night that Ranma hadn't said anything to Akane and broken his promise, but quite honestly, Ryoga couldn't have blamed him if he had. If he were in Ranma's position, he probably would have done so. God, how could he have been such a _pig_?

His fist began to strike his head harder and more violently, until he was practically punching himself in the face. It was amazing how, no matter what, he always found a way to ruin things for himself. Maybe he really was just unlovable.

He heard the front door of the house open and looked to see Akane walking out in her school uniform, followed closely by Ranma. Ryoga forced himself to get it together and stood up to greet them, prepared to accept whatever may come.

To his small relief, Akane smiled when she saw him, but her expression quickly replaced itself with a look of distress. "Ryoga, what _happened!_?" she gasped, referring to the blackness that enveloped his eye. "Did somebody hit you...?" She hurried over and reached a hand out to touch his face and inspect the damage.

Ranma bit his tongue and glared at the spectacle of her concern. She hadn't cared to examine _his _wound_._ In fairness, Ryoga's looked a lot worse.

Ryoga glanced uncertainly at Ranma, questioning whether the pig-tailed boy would say anything about what had happened. The cold glare that Ranma met him with was alarmingly unreadable, but for several long seconds, he didn't speak. Ryoga's brow curled in disbelief. Even now, Ranma would keep his secret? _Oh_, bless him for that!

Akane noticed the look the two boys exchanged and took a step back to stare at them both. She remembered the bruise that Ranma was sporting and gradually piecing two and two together.

"You two...? You didn't..." she started, but she couldn't find the words. Maybe it was a conceited conclusion to jump to, but what else could it be? The two goons had been fighting over her! This little love-triangle of theirs was quickly getting out of hand. Akane didn't even find it cute anymore. For goodness sake, she didn't want them hurting each other! She glared over at Ranma and gave him a hard, accusing poke in the chest. "YOU started this, didn't you?"

Ranma sputtered in bewilderment, "Wait, what!"

"And just because I gave him my attention for ONE day, instead of you!" She poked him in the chest again. "Ugh! I can't even believe it! I just can't believe it! You are just so - you are so - !" And again.

Ranma's jaw hung open indignantly. He hadn't done a damn thing except defend her honor, and this was the thanks he got? He opened his mouth to speak, but Rygoa beat him to it.

"No, no no," the lost boy hastily interrupted and grabbed Akane's shoulder to turn her away. "No! Ranma didn't do this!" He forced out a laugh.

Akane stared at him in confusion. "He didn't?"

"I didn't?" Ranma mumbled.

"Well, I dunno what happened to him," said Ryoga, "But I ... ran into a pole ...! Heh..." He scratched his head awkwardly. "On my way back... in the dark. Guess I should watch where I'm going better, huh?..."

Ranma had saved him from Akane's wrath; now, Ryoga was just repaying the favor.

Akane frowned. She turned back to Ranma and peered doubtfully at his discolored jaw.

"Uh," Ranma hesitated. "...Got in a scuffle with my Pop this morning. You know how he gets."

The excuses sounded reasonable enough, Akane thought, and besides, when could they have even gotten into a fight, anyway? Ryoga had left last night, and Ranma spent the whole morning sitting in the kitchen. Akane flushed red as they both stared at her; she suddenly felt very dumb for making assumptions.

"Oh..." She said, thoroughly embarrassed. "Oh, well... good, because...I just don't want you guys fighting with each other." A moment later, she reached out to grab Ryoga's hand in her left and Ranma's in her right, and gave them both a squeeze. "Last night was stupid. Let's just all be friends, okay?" she said with a soft smile, "Always."

Ranma yanked his hand away. "Ohhh, it's _'let's be friends!'_ all of a sudden, is it!" he said scornfully, "Are you even gonna apologize for just _assuming _that I started it?"

"_Well_," Akane said sharply, Ranma's tone bringing her to a quick temper. "Ryoga wouldn't start a fight over something so silly and immature, Ranma, so it couldn't have been him. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for _you_."

Ryoga averted his eyes as Ranma fumed. "Ugh! You're so naive, you know that?" Ranma told her, full fury igniting. "If you had any clue at all what a jerk this jerk-off is, then you wouldn't be so keen on being his _bee-eff-eff."_

Ordinarily, Ryoga would've spat back at Ranma with some of his own criticisms, but now, those words couldn't even move him to anger, because Ranma was only telling the truth. Ryoga felt nauseous, absolutely sick with himself. Akane interpreted his silence as a mark of his maturity.

"Oh, whatever!" Akane rolled her eyes and dragged the other boy off down the sidewalk with her, his hand still fastened in hers. She was sick and tired of Ranma trying to convince her that Ryoga was some kind of threat. "C'mon, Ryoga. I don't wanna be late."

Ranma followed along behind the pair, keeping them well within his sights. He hadn't ratted Ryoga out, because in his mind, what he'd stumbled upon the previous night wasn't a new development - it just confirmed what he had known along, which was that Ryoga Hibiki was nothing but a troublesome little pervert. He wished he could prove that to Akane, but that would involve breaking his promise, and he couldn't do that. Even for this. He'd _sworn_.

Those mischievous gears in Ranma's head started turning. Maybe there were other ways he could get his point across, without having to defy one of his few virtues.

Up ahead, Ryoga kept his eyes focused on their path. He could barely stand to look at Akane, and holding her hand was giving him such agonizing spasms of guilt that he felt like he just wanted to collapse to the ground in a sobbing confession. He shouldn't have watched; he should've looked away, he should've went for the door sooner. The image of her lovely white body kept entering his thoughts as they walked side by side, making him feel loathsome and filthy. Ranma's swift punishment had left no doubt in his mind that he'd done a very bad thing. Even though Ryoga had been more than able to fend off the attack, given his ridiculous strength in comparison to Ranma's, it was the raw animosity that the young Saotome came at him with that caused Ryoga to fully recognize his own depravity. He didn't even deserve Akane anymore.

"Are you alright?" Akane asked. "Why so quiet?"

Ryoga lowered his head. "I'm just feeling a little under the weather," he said. He bit his tongue 'til it bled for lying to her.

"Oh, no," Akane cooed with a note of sympathy that made his eyes water. "You didn't have to come and walk with me if you weren't feeling well... oh, I know! I'll take you to see Dr. Tofu. He can check out that bruise, too.

"N-no, that's alright," Ryoga said, shaking his head. "I'm okay, I think I just need to rest for a while. Don't worry. I'm fine to walk for now..."

Akane nodded slowly. "Well, don't strain yourself, or you could get sicker. I don't want that to happen."

Ryoga finally looked at her and smiled weakly, eyes glinting with an emotion she couldn't place.

"You're really an angel, you know that?" he told her.

Akane blinked at him. She smiled and laughed, shrugging with a blush. An angel, huh? She guessed that was a pretty big compliment, as far as compliments went.

In the time Ranma spent scowling at Ryoga and Akane's interlocked hands - which, by the way, made it seem very much as though those two were, in fact, an 'item' - he plotted out his whole scheme. He'd prove to Akane what a horndog Ryoga was via the ace up his sleeve: the lost boy's 'long lost fiance', the beautiful and voluptuous Miss Lacy. He'd already suffered through Ryoga's deprived behavior once, all he had to do now was get the kid to take the bait a second time, snap a picture, and walla! - proof that Ryoga was a slave to his cock. Then he'd change back to himself and pressure him into confessing. After all, Akane might've discerned Lacy's true identity, but Ryoga hadn't, so getting him into another compromising situation ought to be an easy enough task, he figured. He'd just need to find another good wig and dress.

Soon the trio reached the bustling school grounds, Furinkan students all around, chatting and gossiping while they waited for the first bell. Akane and Ryoga came to a stop, but Ranma continued passed them and disappeared into the crowd.

"Thanks for walking with me," Akane said with a smile and released his hand. "You should go and rest. I'll see you later."

"Yeah," Ryoga nodded slowly, fidgeting with his bandana. "No problem at all. See you later..."

The first bell rang at last and a multitude of students began herding into Furinkan's doors. Ranma was one of the first among them, but he wasn't on his way to class. He had more important matters to attend to. He veered off toward the amphitheater, easily escaping notice by patrolling school staff.

There was a small dressing room behind the amphitheater stage. Ranma remembered it from his stint with the theater troupe, when they'd been performing Romeo and Juliet - what a crazy night that had been. When he got to it, the door was locked, but he'd anticipated this; he fumbled through his bag for a hidden bobby-pin. _What_? Rule 15 of the Saotome Anything Goes School of Martial Arts: Always keep a lock-pick handy. Whether you're going to need to get into a place or out of a place, you just never know.

After a few tries, Ranma heard the click that awarded him entrance. He stepped in and looked around with a devious smirk at the smorgasbord of costume wear - wigs, gowns, cosmetics, almost everything he needed, it was all here. He could even cover up this unsightly bruise of his. He kicked the door shut and quickly started sifting through the racks of clothing and gathering up everything he'd need. This was all well and good, but he was still missing the most integral part of his plan: a camera. Now who did he know that had a camera? ..._Shit_, he thought. It was going to take some serious buttering up to get Nabiki to loan out any more of her things out to him.

Out of the mess of theatrical costumes, he managed to pull a silky, colorful ruched dress that would show off his shoulders and legs, and a blond wig that matched the color (though not the style) of his previous. There was even a box of props in which he found a convenient pair of silver eye glasses, though they were a little comically over-sized. Ranma scooped up several containers of make-up and stuffed all these things into his backpack, then headed off to the lady's room. By the time he got there, first period had begun and the halls were empty. He slipped inside, changed shape and clothes, and proceeded to make himself downright irresistible.

Ranma admired herself in the mirror, twirling around to see the dip in the dress's back and then adjusting her breasts. Man, those perky jugs looked damned good even without a bra. There was no way that little pervert would be able to reject her. Even she'd have a hard time turning herself away. She powdered her jaw until her face was all one even color, then leaned over the sink and stared into the eyes of the almost-unrecognizable young woman looking back. "_Mmmm, Ryoga_," she breathed, practicing her seductive charm. "Ha! Just you wait, Akane... you won't believe how easy it is to get this kid to show his true colors."

~~~  
>RAEDE<p> 


	8. Chapter 8: Seduction Attempt Number One

**AN:** I decided to give Nabiki a digital camera instead of her old-timey photo-spitter, in the interest of easier-to-write-ness. Anywho...

**Chapter 8: Seduction Attempt Number One**

Well, Nabiki hadn't been happy about it, but after Ranma promising her lunch money to the devious Tendo sister for the next two years, some leeway had finally been made. She was allowed access to Nabiki's digital camera for the next 48 hours only, so there was no time to lose.

Nabiki had expressed more skepticism for Ranma's plan, which she assumed was still to teach Ryoga a lesson (and she was more or less right about that); she was, however, impressed at the young Saotome's decision to acquire blackmail material so that things didn't backfire this time around. _"You're getting to be more like me every day,"_ she'd said. Ranma wasn't sure how she felt about that comment.

She took several deep breaths as she walked out of school with the camera hanging around her neck, busily reminding herself that for however long it took her to get a good picture, she wasn't Ranma anymore. She was _Lacy_, the drop-dead gorgeous blond bombshell who, for some reason which mankind may never be able to discern, was completely devoted to pleasing her _darling_ Ryoga. Her skin crawled at the thought, but she had to get in character if this was ever going to work.

_Remember_, she told herself, _it's not gay, because it's for a really good reason._ Ugh - the things she was willing to do for that girl.

Meanwhile, Furinkan was awash with rumors about the pretty new girl who'd been talking to Nabiki. Every time this sort of thing happened, Akane was rightly made to wonder whether Ranma was up to some whacky scheme again. _What other bride in the world has to worry about this kind of stuff?_ she wondered in amusement, thinking on how absurd it was that gossip about pretty girls should remind her of her potential husband-to-be. Her eyes drifted toward the ceiling and she twirled a pencil absently over her notebook, thoughts returning to that dumb argument she and Ranma had gotten into the previous night. She remembered his words so clear in her head that it was as though he was right there speaking to her: _"...like it or not, you're my fiance, and that makes me responsible for you."_ Oh, _Ranma_ - he was trying so hard to make it seem like he was only looking out for himself in this, but frankly, his jealousy had never been more obvious. Even the slightest interaction between her and Ryoga seemed to rouse a tantrum of out of him. She just didn't get it sometimes - if he cared about her so much, then why the heck didn't he just say so? The thought irritated her. Why did men always have such trouble putting aside their pride? If they just tried it every once in a while, she thought, they might be surprised at the results.

_Meanwhile_-meanwhile, Ryoga was looking out over Nerima's marine view. He was seated on the ground, back hunched over as he hung his head in shame and retreated into his mind. Sure, okay, so maybe he had done a bad thing, but if anyone just took a second to look at matters from _his_ point of view, then who could blame him for how he'd reacted? After all, it wasn't like he'd planned for Akane to ... start doing what she'd done.

_No, but you hoped for it_, said a voice from out of the shadows of his mind._ Every time you slept in her bed, you hoped._

Ryoga grabbed two handfuls of his own hair and pulled, physically shaking his head as he denied the despicable truth of the matter. "I love her," he mumbled to himself, and as he remembered the sweet way she had breathed his name, said, "And she loves me." The memory was all the certainty, all the confirmation he needed that Akane felt the same way about him as he did about her. Since coming clean wasn't even an option, Ryoga found himself faced with a catch 22: he could stick around, keep his mouth shut and continue to betray her trust, or he could leave town forever, and potentially break her heart. He couldn't stand the thought of hurting her. In that light, the former solution seemed a much less harmful course of action, because, after all, at least what Akane didn't know couldn't hurt her, right?

...Right. And so, Ryoga made his decision: he'd stick around, keep his mouth shut, and say goodbye to life as little P-chan altogether. No more sleeping in Akane's bed, no more snuggilng between her breasts, and no more lies. He'd just avoid the subject, put it all behind him and start totally anew. Ranma might hate him for years to come, but some day, he'd see that his feelings for Akane were pure.

Suddenly, he was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of a familiar voice. "_Yoohoo!_" it called out in a sing-song sort of way, "_Babycakes, sweety-pie - it's me!_"

"Oh, shit," Ryoga breathed when he saw her coming. He almost didn't recognize who it was at first; the hair was different, and the glasses, too, and then of course, the clothes - but it didn't take long for the realization to hit him. '_Lacy_'; she was back.

As soon as he scrambled to his feet, Ryoga found himself trapped in her embrace; she threw her arms around his neck and quite literally tossed herself against him. When she did, something hard smacked Ryoga's chest that knocked the wind right out of him. "...H-hello, again, Lacy..." he said when he recovered. He tried in vain to wriggle his way out of her hold, but just like he remembered, this was one strong girl.

"Oh, _Ryoga_... I've been thinking about you every moment we've been apart," Ranma cooed. Ryoga could feel her breath hot on his ear. A tingle ran down his spine and became a swirl of nausea in his belly.

"...You have...?" said Ryoga as he took a few steps back, hoping she would let go of him, but she didn't. He glanced down and noticed with passing interest what it was that had collided most uncomfortably with his rib cage: a big digital camera hanging from a loose lanyard around the girl's neck.

"Oh, _yes_," said Ranma, loosening her hold on him just enough to come face to face with the boy. "Every minute, every _second_, I've been _yearning_ for the time when next your lips would touch mine!"

Ryoga returned her longing stare with a look of utter confusion. Was this chick bipolar or what?

"R-really? Because you... didn't really seem too pleased with that, last time," he said.

Ranma laughed light-heartedly and set a palm gently to his cheek. "Ohhh, you must forgive me for that, my love - the thrill of your touch was almost more than I could bare! But in the time I've been away, I've _matured_." She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close. "So, c'mon - pucker up, _sexy_!"

She swooped in for the kiss, one hand going for her camera, when Ryoga finally managed to break away.

"No!" he said, putting his hands up defensively. "I can't. I'm sorry... I can't be your fiance... I'm - well, I guess I'm not really, 'involved' with anyone, but, see... I like someone... And I think she likes me back."

Ranma's eyes burned with impressively convincing jealousy. "But, Ryoga...! You _dog_!" she growled, "You said I was beautiful! You said you were happy that we finally found each other!" She spoke tearfully and covered her eyes. "Didn't - didn't you MEAN any of that?" She turned away with a feigned sob.

The fake tears worked like a charm. Ryoga put his hands down and reluctantly took a step closer to her, reaching a hand out to touch her bare shoulder. "Wait... please don't cry," he said, glancing around anxiously as people walking by turned their heads at the spectacle. Ranma let out another exaggerated wail. "I - I _did_ mean all of those things, I really did!" Ryoga told her, "You are really beautiful. You're gorgeous, and... I was happy..." The feelings that had possessed him to kiss her came back into his memory. It was the unexpected thrill of having stumbled upon someone who knew his every flaw, yet loved him unconditionally nonetheless. He felt a sudden throe of affection for her, and a pang of guilt for what he knew he had to do. He and Lacy might've shared something great in another life, but now, Akane Tendo was the only girl for him.

Ranma whirled around to face Ryoga, composure instantly restored. "So you agree, then?" she spoke rapidly, "That we're meant for each other, I mean? Ohh, I'm so _happy_!" She caught him in another painful squeeze-of-a-hug.

"I didn't say that!" Ryoga spat. "Look, you've got to understand - you slapped me in the face and ran away crying!..."

"I wasn't _crying_!" Ranma interrupted him in offense, her entire mannerism momentarily changing. Crying? How could anyone mistake screaming for crying?

"...You slapped me, ran away, and you called me a freak," Ryoga said. "I was sure you hated me after that, and I didn't think you were ever coming back. So I moved on... I'm really sorry, but that's how it is."

"Don't _say_ that, my love!" Ranma plead, touching a finger to Ryoga's lips. This wasn't working as well as she had hoped; she'd have to turn it up a notch. "_Who is she?_ It's that hideous little tomboy you were with, isn't it? I promise, I'll be a better wife to you than she could ever hope to be," she said, hands dropping to grab him by the cloth of his pants. She pulled his waist to hers, her breasts pressing up against him as she tilted her head and murmured with lustful eyes, "I'll do more for you... than she would _ever_ do." She winked an eye at him and smirked.

"Um... w-wow," Ryoga muttered, his whole body going stiff as a board. "That's... er, like I said, I _can't_ be with you, Lacy. My heart belongs to someone else... I'm sorry..."

"Don't make me _beg_, Ryoga!" Lacy gave his waist a shake and grinded up against him. Even more people were looking their way now than when she'd been crying. "Or, is that what you like...? Do you want me on my _knees_?" She dropped to them as she said the word, putting her face just inches from his crotch. Ryoga took a step back for good measure, but Lacy grabbed his arm to keep him from getting too far. "_Please_," she plead with him, arching her back and showing off her best feverish pose. "I'll let you do _anything_ you want to me."

Now, to say that not the slightest hint of temptation came into Ryoga's mind as he watched this strange girl offer herself to him would be a very severe lie indeed; but Ryoga's resolve stayed strong, his love for Akane keeping him on the straight and narrow path. He may have possessed more flaws than he could count, but two-timing wasn't one of them.

"Please, _stop_," he demanded in a dead-serious tone of voice. "I know you may have a hard time seeing this now, but you really are better off without me. I'm sure you'll make someone a great wife some day..."

_Damn it_, Ranma thought. Was it the make-up? She thought she'd done a pretty good job with it, personally. Oh well, whatever, screw this. Seduction was taking too long. She lifted her camera and lunged at Ryoga, catching him off guard, forcing her lips over his and snapping a photo.

The flash and buzz of the camera sent Ryoga into a quick panic. He shoved Ranma off him with all his strength and stared at her with wide, astonished eyes. "What are you _doing_?"

_"Plegh! Euck!"_ Ranma spit at the ground. She looked back at Ryoga with a cheerful smile. "Just a little keepsake, my love," she said, glancing down at the camera to check the picture quality. Ryoga snatched it out of her hands and wound up choking her as he yanked on the lanyard, his eyes desperately scanning the camera for a delete button. "What is _wrong_ with you! You have GOT to delete that!" he insisted.

"Hey, cut that out!" Ranma tried to snatch the camera back, resulting in a heated game of tug-of-war between the two, which Ryoga seemed to be winning. "I mean," Ranma said with a with a little laugh, "_Darling_, don't you want to have memories of our precious lives together? Whatever will we do when we're old and gray...?"

"You're CRAZY!" Ryoga told her, his patience running short. "I don't WANT you, don't you understand that? I. DON'T. _WANT_. YOU!"

Inside, Ranma smirked at the opportunity presented to her; on the outside, she froze. Her eyes glinted with drops of water, her face contorting with fabricated pain. "But... I...!" 'Lacy' sniveled and snorted and broke out into another fit of false tears. Ryoga might not have been fooled this time, had he not recognized the harshness of his own words. Remorsefully, he frowned at her and began a stuttering apology. "Wait, wait, don't do that... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so - ...please, don't do that..."

_"You men are all the same!"_ Ranma shouted at the top of her lungs. "Love 'em and leave 'em, that's all you do! I didn't expect this kind of treatment from YOU, Ryoga!"

Ryoga felt something swell in his throat as the whispering of the spectators rose to a hum. "_Shhh_!" he hushed her, moving close to put a comforting arm around the sobbing girl and maybe slap a palm over her mouth to keep her quiet. Before he could do so, Ranma had taken advantage of his loosened grip on the camera, yanked it away, snapped another picture while he had his arm around her and turned tail to run for it.

Ryoga winced, momentarily blinded by the second unexpected flash. "WAIT!" he roared, but by the time he opened his eyes, she was nowhere to be seen.

His heart was beating fast with a fear he couldn't shake, thoughts stuck on the photographs 'Lacy' now had in her possession. His stomach rolled. This wasn't good at all. Not at all. Things like this just seemed to always have a way of coming back to him, and the results were never pleasant. What was that insane girl planning?

Ranma had dipped into an alleyway and hid herself behind a couple of trash cans. She brushed a few strands of fake golden hair from her face and crouched down to inspect the images she'd taken in peace, quietly snickering to herself all the while. Alright, so maybe that hadn't gone quite the way she envisioned. But still, she got a picture, didn't she? So long as long as she managed to get some hard evidence, it didn't matter if Ryoga was actually into it or not. It just had to look convincing, that's all, and the rest of her plan could take shape from there.

...But, to her disappointment and irritation, the pictures didn't look all that convincing at all. Ryoga looked nothing but horrified in both of them. Ranma bit her lip and shook her head, breathing a long sigh. This would never do. If she showed these to Akane, she'd be laughed right out of town. Hell, Akane would probably try to say Ranma was the perverted one, if she saw these. She deleted them both and dropped the camera in her lap, crossed her arms and pouted. What could she do now? Try all she might, Ryoga had said it himself: he didn't want her.

Ranma lowered her head, eyes peering down to admire the cleavage of her own breasts - something she did from time to time, as any guy would - and she thought, _who_ in their right mind wouldn't want _her_? Someone like Ryoga, especially - who was bound to be a virgin - ought to be crawling at her feet. No, there was no way that pervert _'didn't want'_ her, she thought to herself; he was just in denial. That had to be it. A little more effort, and he'd be the one on his knees. A few ideas began floating around in her head, her lips curling into a devilish sneer. Tonight, she'd try again. If she failed a second time, then maybe she'd change up her game plan a bit, but Ranma had a feeling she could still make this work.

~~~  
>RAEDE<p> 


	9. Chapter 9: Seduction Attempt Number Two

**AN:** Sorry for the wait, I was lazy this weekend and I just got the Sims Midieval... THAT SHITE IS SO FUNNN OH-EM-GEE. Anywho, short chapter, I'll probably have the next one up later tonight and maybe even the one after if I'm feeling so inclined. For this'n I ask you to accept the fact that a door to a public locker room can be locked from the inside... ._." roll w/ it.

_edit_: got too sleepy to post tonight. zzzzzz. working on it.

**Chapter 9: Seduction Attempt Number Two**

Neither Ryoga or Ranma returned to the Tendo home that evening. Understandably, Ranma still wasn't too keen on having anyone catching him parading around in a dress and proclaiming himself Ryoga's_ 'long lost fiance'._ You'd have to be some kind of dense not to recognize the awful conclusions friends and family were bound to draw from that, and he didn't feel much like explaining himself a dozen times over. Once he had what he wanted and everything was all said and done, then he'd explain, with visual aid handy.

As for Ryoga, he was on his way to the nearest public bath house after a full day of reflection and a bit of training to soothe the mind. What he needed now was a long, hot shower to wash away the filth of his old life as he prepared to begin totally anew, but something about the thought of using the Tendo's tub left a bad taste in his mouth.

He tried to put Lacy and her photo-happy antics out of his mind, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something disastrous lurked in his future. Still, he didn't let that thought bother him too much. Whatever came, he'd tackle it; nothing was going to stand in the way of his happiness this time around. Not even himself. Especially not himself.

Unfortunately for him, miss 'Lacy' was following along close behind, careful to keep herself hidden in the crowds and determined to see to it that Ryoga did, in fact, ruin this for himself. With a little help, of course. She'd spent the whole afternoon trying to figure out how to set Nabiki's camera to snap photos at different intervals, but to her displeasure, that option didn't seem to be available. She decided to try and leave it filming some place instead. After all, she figured, if a picture's worth a thousand words, then a whole movie ought to be worth at least a million or so depending on the length of it, right? Right.

After much seemingly aimless wandering, she found herself becoming increasingly, fiendishly delighted as she realized where Ryoga was headed.

"Oh, _perfect_. That's perfect," she said to herself, "This ought to be rich." Once the boy had disappeared into the bath house for several minutes, she followed him inside.

Ryoga didn't say anything to anyone save for the woman he paid at the reception desk. He went about his business quickly and quietly, enjoying a half hour in the sauna and another in the pools. The place was calm and relatively quiet. By the end of his visit, he felt thoroughly rejuvenated. He planned to swing by the Tendo's before he staked out a place to set up camp for the night - which he wasn't at all looking forward to. Some people didn't realize it, but camping, or even just sleeping out in public in the city at night was illegal. Sleeping with Akane every time he visited Nerima at least guaranteed that he wouldn't be charged for vagrancy, but he promised himself that he wouldn't be doing that anymore, and he meant to keep that promise. He was a new man.

He stepped into the empty locker room to retrieve his clothes, holding a towel around his waist in one hand and his key in the other. He gazed around until he found his locker number in the aisles; the moment he put in his key and turned it, he heard the heavy entrance door fall shut, followed by the clasp of a lock. Ryoga stopped moving, turned his head, but he didn't hear anyone. Curious, and always on the look-out, he pulled his key out and rounded the aisle to investigate. Indeed, the door was shut, but he still didn't see or hear anybody. For now, he decided not to worry about it - this place was suppose to be open for several more hours still. May as well get dressed before checking if someone had accidently locked him in, he figured.

Ranma crept up behind him, the flat of her barefoot meeting the ground first, then the heel, slowly, softly, without a sound. She, too, had a towel wrapped around her, which she held closed over her chest, and her thieved wig was fastened comfortably on her head. She'd planned on opening with some raunchy line, but once she got right up behind him, she just couldn't resist herself.

_"**BOO!**_" she said suddenly, causing Ryoga to spring an inch up off the ground and whirl around in surprise. His back slammed into the open door of his locker when he saw her, sending a metallic clang ringing through the room.

"Lacy!" he sputtered in genuine surprise, "Er, I don't... I don't think you're suppose to be in here." He had to stare in awe at her presence; this place usually ran like clockwork, so how the heck did this whacky girl make it passed security...?

"Finally... you and I get a moment of privacy," she said as she pretended to admire his bare upper-half. That vision of his white-smeared stomach kept popping into her mind, making her skin crawl and strengthening her resolve. She ran a hand over his taut chest and tilted her head up at him with heavy lidded eyes. "Whatever shall we do with it?"

Ryoga peeled her hand off of him and glanced down the aisle. "Lacy, did... you lock the door?" he asked.

"_Yep_. Don't worry," she said, "No one will disturb us. We can do _whatever_ we want." Her voice was thick with feigned longing.

"You...really should leave," Ryoga said, frowning uncomfortably at her. She seemed to have forgotten all about her teary fit from earlier. It was bizarre, the way her obsession over him stuck no matter how many times he shot her down; both bizarre and flattering, really, but increasingly aggravating.

Ranma looked at him with her jaw hanging just slightly loose and made a light cough of a sound as though offended. "Ryoga!" she said, playfully accusing, "You're acting like you don't even want to be around me..." She pressed closer until there was no space at all between the two; the only thing that separated them was the width of her arm as she casually held up her towel. "Do I make you... uncomfortable?"

Ryoga took a moment to contemplate how he should respond to that before slowly nodding. "Yes. Yes, actually, you do," he said, pressing himself flat to the lockers as he instinctively tried to back away. "I keep telling you, miss, I can't _do_ this. Why won't you listen to me?" Maybe Akane was right, he began to think; maybe Lacy really was missing a few major screws somewhere upstairs.

"Because, baby," Ranma cooed as she wriggled her free hand out of his grip and trailed a finger playfully along his collar bone. "I know all about you, remember? I know what you like... what you _want_," she said with a lewd smirk, loosening her grip on the towel enough to let it fall an inch, just to get his heartrate going. "And I know that you're just playing hard-to-get. Why fight it any longer?"

Ryoga didn't like laying a forceful hand on women, but for this one, he thought he could make an exception. He put a palm to her chest and shoved her away from him, then spoke as stern as he could while remaining calm. "I'm not fighting anything," he said as Ranma stumbled back in surprise. "I'm going to say this _one_ last time, so try to pay attention. _I don't want you._ I don't want to marry you. Right now, I don't even wanna look at you - ...you... you need to get some clothes on!"

Ranma couldn't help but feel a little bit offended. What was his deal? She was just as pretty and alluring now as she was days ago, wasn't she? _Of course she was_; moreso, even! So why wasn't this working?

She stared at him one long, silent moment, wondering what move she ought to pull out next. Well, she still had the 'big guns' to go to. She didn't want it to come to this, but he'd forced her to it. She let go of the towel and let it slip to the floor.

"O-oh god," Ryoga went tense and stuttered, his eyes wide. All at once he took in the sight of her beautiful, curvy, supple body, and for a few seconds he felt the same lack of will that hadn't let him turn a blind eye to Akane's nudity the night before. But that feeling brought her back to the forefront of his mind: _Akane_, his love, his soul, his reason for being. He couldn't hurt her. He wouldn't. He shut his eyes tight and turned his head away. "Please... _please_ pick that back up."

However brief, that longing stare hadn't been lost on her. Ranma smirked, knowing she was making progress at last. She lurched forward to press her exposed body close to his; Ryoga squirmed and pushed her shoulders away, but Ranma had already managed good hugging-grip on him and began tiger-ishly nuzzling the gape of his neck. "_Mmmn_, that's right!" she said, "I love it when you talk to me like I'm _nothing_ to you. It gets me _so_ hot! _Take me_ - right here!"

"STOP! Stop it! Geez, woman, take a hint!"

They heard the door shake like someone was trying to enter; a heavy fist began to pound on it and an angry voice shouted, "_Hey_! What's the deal? Anybody in there? Open up!"

_Shit_, Ranma thought; _hurry up and give in, moron!_ But Ryoga didn't look like he had any intention of doing so.

"T-there, you see?" he said, "Now they're gonna catch you in here, and you'll probably be in a lot of trouble." Ryoga didn't really know if that was true or not; he presumed that he sure as hell would be if the staff caught _him_ butt-naked in the women's locker rooms, anyway; but girls had a funny way of getting away with these kinds of things. Still, maybe the fear of being caught like this would get her the hell off him.

Ranma gritted her teeth and weighed her options. Quit now, and try again later? _Ugh_, but she wanted this to be over with already!

_"I don't care,_" she said feverishly, "Let them find us!" She held her breath as she forced her mouth over his and tried not to let the taste deter her.

"_MmmMMF!_ MMM!" Ryoga hummed in alarm, heart crashing against his rib cage. Thinking of nothing else he could do, having nothing else at all he could justly grab onto, he went for a handful of her soft blond hair and tried to yank her head away.

"_HEY_, hey!" Ranma panicked as she felt the wig slide back on her forehead. She immediately let go of him and brought both hands up to pull it back into place and readjust it. "Don't pull my _hair_, asshole!" she spat.

As soon as he was free, Ryoga scooped his clothes out of his locker and ran for the exit. Ranma chased after him, but it was too late; with lightning speed he twisted the latch and burst through the door, zipping by two sour looking patrons and a very surprised janitor.

"Whoa!" the janitor exclaimed, glancing up from his keyring in surprise as Ryoga rushed by. He was even more surprised to see Ranma appear a second later. "_WHOA_!"

"Ryoga!" she shrieked, "Wait up!" She glanced at the three ogling men, all of whom were staring stupidly. With a frown, she looked over her shoulder and remembered the camera hidden atop one of the lockers. She dipped back inside to get it.

"Hey there, wait a minute!" the janitor called out, "Just a second, miss! You ain't spose to be in here; get yourself a towel or somethin', would ya? Yer gonna shock these fellas outta their skin."

Ranma snatched up the towel and camera and hurried out without a word.

~~~  
>RAEDE<p> 


	10. Chapter 10: Plan B

**AN:** Awwe shit; here comes the angst-train.

**Chapter 10: Plan B**

Ranma was irked with himself for not having foreseen this. He should've known - he just should've known. He'd gone and gotten himself all riled up over what a sick pervert Ryoga was, but he had forgotten that at heart, he was still dealing with a timid little choir boy. Now that Akane was actually paying attention to him, he must've felt some weird obligation to her, and it was putting a very bothersome dent in Ranma's plan. He would only have Nabiki's camera for another day, and he was all out of ideas. If his last display hadn't worked, then he figured nothing would.

Ranma seethed at the thought; he didn't appreciate when things didn't go his way, and he appreciated being wrong even less. _Alright, P-chan_, he thought to himself; _you win this round._ But he still wasn't letting this go. Just because the guy was a dedicated pervert didn't make it right. Ranma wasn't sure he could live with himself if he just stood-by and continued to watch as Ryoga took advantage of Akane's incredible, mind-boggling naivety. She was too dumb to figure things out on her own; something had to be done. The question was _what_.

An idea came into his mind that he was surprised he hadn't thought of before. Maybe he could talk to Soun, tell him the whole deal, and he'd do something about this. Yeah, that might work - but he didn't start getting excited just yet. Maybe it stemmed from having been raised by a criminal father, but the thought of ratting Ryoga out to an authority figure bothered him almost as much as breaking his word and just flat-out telling Akane what was up. Still, he thought it the lesser of two evils.

So now that his master plan had - perhaps unsurpsingly - failed, it was time to go to plan B: get help. But he decided to make one final attempt to avoid the chaotic aftermath. He'd have a talk with Ryoga, man to man - no fists, no wigs. After all, it was clear now that the eternally lost boy did have some semblence of honor after all. All he had to do was appeal to it.

Ranma changed, went home and waited for Ryoga to show up, certain he would eventually. Indeed, it wasn't long before he heard the door open and an irritatingly-cheery greeting pass between Ryoga and Akane.

"Not at all, c'mon," Akane was saying as he came downstairs. "You can help me look for P-chan. I swear, I need to get him a leash."

Ranma snorted a laugh. Akane and Ryoga looked over at him.

"_Ryogaaa_, buddy," Ranma said as he mosied over and locked an arm painfully tight around the other boy's neck. "So glad you're here. You and me need to have a talk."

Ryoga pursed his lips. He was pretty sure he knew what that meant. "Actually," he said, "You're right. Err..." He glanced to Akane. "Excuse us..."

A worrisome frown appeared on Akane's face. "_Ranma_..." she said gravely. Ranma turned to look at her. "Play. _Nice_," she said.

"Eh, cool it, would ya?" Ranma said as he dragged Ryoga off down the hall. "I ain't gonna do nothin'." He hissed to Ryoga when they were far enough out of earshot, "Long as you cooperate, that is."

"What are you on about?"

Ranma released him with a push and glared. "You know exactly what I'm on about. This has to stop."

"Look," Ryoga said, back to the wall as he stared him in the eye. "I'm sorry," he said instead. "I know what you must think of me. But I swear, it's over; I'm... putting P-chan behind me. I won't infringe on her trust any longer. Things are going to be different, I promise you."

Ranma drew his head back as he contemplated this. Nope; still not satisfied. "Fine. Good," he said. "But that's not enough. You wanna hang out with Akane, fine, but you better come clean with her. If you don't, _I will."_

Ryoga was visibly struck with fear, his brow curling over dire eyes. "No," he said, "_You promised_."

"For fuck's sake, Ryoga!" Ranma spat. Ryoga winced as his voice rose. "This is _wrong_. That girl in there thinks you're just the sweetest most innocent thing in the world, but you're _swine_, is what you are."

"You don't understand. She'll be... she'll be hurt. I can't do that to her."

"No, YOU'LL be hurt!" Ranma corrected. "You're afraid. And you know what? You damn well should be. If you tell her the truth and she never wants to see you again, then good for her. If she does... then you guys can live happily ever after for all I care. But you better give her a chance to see the real you before I let her make this mistake."

Ryoga shook his head. His eyes were starting to sting. "You can't," he pleaded, "Please... I won't... I can't lose this."

Ranma was momentarily speechless. He huffed a breath. "...You're unbelievable," he said.

Ryoga lowered his head, saying, "I know I've done wrong. ...Try to find it in your heart to forgive me... Akane and I are finally just getting to know each other, and I'm going to change. I _have_ changed."

"So, what? You think that makes everything okay? You think now that you have a chance of getting some _real_ ass, you can put all this two-faced bullshit behind you and that's just fine?" Ranma's eyes glinted with malice. "You're a real selfish prick, you know that?"

Ryoga didn't say anything, so Ranma went on. "You don't love her. You love yourself, fucking bastard."

"I do love her," Ryoga said, voice quivering. His hands balled into fists. "Don't you dare question that."

"Well, you know what?_ She doesn't love you,"_ Ranma blurted out. "And she is NEVER going to. She doesn't even want you. You know that, don't you? How could she? Look at you, you're a sad sack of shit."

"You're wrong," Ryoga said, head hanging. The drop of a tear fell from his eye to the floor.

Ranma scoffed, said, "Am not. She told me herself. She takes pity on you, that's all." Sure, the words weren't entirely true, but they were meant to hurt. He deserved to feel bad, and maybe if he felt bad enough, he'd confess. Not to mention how good it felt to just tear into the guy. So he kept going. "Anyway, she's already engaged to _me_. What would she want a dirty, lying pig like _you_ for?"

Finally Ryoga looked up and glared at the other boy through shining eyes, nostrils all aflare. What possessed him to speak next was much like what possesses a cornered animal to lash out at its attacker. Desperate, and without much at all to defend himself in this verbal beat-down from his most hated enemy, Ryoga spat at him the only proof he really had that Akane truly did love him.

"Oh yeah?" he said, nose curling, the corners of his mouth quirking with hesitant amusement. "Whose name do you think she whispers at night?"

Ranma's jaw hung open at the sneer on Ryoga's face as the vile question spilled off his lips. His voice fell to something dangerous. "You shut the fuck up," he warned. "...You're lying."

Ryoga shrugged.

Of course he was lying. And what a filthy lie to tell, too. "YOU'RE LYING!" Ranma shouted and lunged forward to take a swing. He had no right...

Ryoga caught the fist just inches from his face, muscles trembling as he held it. He blinked backed the tears and for several seconds, neither moved. The apathy of his features coupled with the confident look in his eye sent a tremble through Ranma's whole body. He felt himself go weak, let his arm drop and backed away. He slumped against the wall and stared at the other boy; just stared.

"...fucking liar..." Ranma muttered one last time, but Ryoga's last word had taken effect. He was floored.

Foosteps. Both boys turned their heads. Ranma stormed passed her when he saw her coming; their shoulders bumped in his haste, and Akane turned and frowned at him, then looked to Ryoga.

"...What was _that_ all about?" she asked.

Ryoga swallowed, took a few steps toward her and shook his head. He felt numb. "Who knows? ...You know how he is."

"Is he bothering you again?" Akane rolled her eyes and sighed. "I am _so_ sorry. He's a nut, he really is." She squinted her eyes at him and somewhat skeptically referred to his bruise, "...Did you really get that from a pole?" she asked.

A second passed before Ryoga nodded.

"Geez," Akane said sympathetically. She decided to change the subject. "Well, I couldn't find P anywhere. It's like he knows you're coming. Oh! But you know where I found him last night? Come here," she said, gesturing and leading him up to her room.

She walked over to her window and slid it open. "The window was closed," she said. She set a hand down on the outer sill. "And he was sitting _right here_. Just looking in at me. Can you believe that?"

"Heh... That's... pretty strange..."

"I know! I was like, _P-chan_! What the hell, man? He's so tiny, I have no clue how he managed to get up there. I'm telling you, he's like a little ninja pig," she said, turning back to him with an exasperated shrug. "Maybe he's here right now and I don't even know it."

Ryoga nodded and pretended to cough. Gnawing, biting guilt.

"Anyway, sorry. There was something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh?" Ryoga cast his eyes down. "There was something I wanted to talk to you about, too, actually..."

Akane's eyes lit up curiously. "Okay, you first."

"Um," Ryoga started, but his mind was blank. "...You first."

"Alright. This might be a little... I don't know, just tell me if you'd be okay with it or not," she said. "I was wondering if you'd train me."

"...Train you?" He sounded a little puzzled, but his brow rose in interest.

"See, I know I'm not as good as you and Ranma are," she explained, "And I've been trying to get him to teach me, but... well, like you said, you know how he is. He won't even take me serious. He just evades everything and I do, and then he's all, _durrrr, what's the matter?_ Makes me so mad. But you're almost as good as he is, and I'm sure you wouldn't be such a jerk about it."

_Almost_. The word passed under his radar as Ryoga gushed with excitement. "Yes," he said immediately. "I would love to."

Akane grinned happily. She'd been a little apprehensive about asking; had he said no, she wasn't sure she would've been able to control her ensuing temper. She hated it when boys treated her like a dainty little thing.

Meanwhile, Ranma had taken his rage outside and was filling a kettle of water from the pond. Screw that asshole; he was done trying to save him any shame. Soun could stay out of this. He had no mercy left. None. He was putting a stop to this _today_.

He happened to look up and notice Akane's open window. A closer look, and he could clearly see Ryoga standing inside, talking to her. Ranma's heart started pounding at the sight of this ripe, perfect opportunity.

He scrambled over to grab the hose. The faucet squeaked as he turned it on and cold water surged through its coils. Ranma got in position, pointed it up and took aim.

~~~  
>RAEDE<p>

ps. it's always a kettle, i don't fucking know why

pps. oh, and sorry for the tease, folks x) like i says, it's a pretty long fic, and i refuse to rush into the sex. i'll be writing plenty of quick & simple lemons in the future, believe you-me; but this one's for _my_ pleasure~


End file.
